In my divorce settlement, my wife (now ex-wife) wanted only the boring things...

That's awl she wanted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
I told my ex-wife she should become a boat captain...

She's so good at dealing with loads of semen

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
My wife is angry. Last night for my anniversary, I left the kids, snuck out with my ex-girlfriend, and we hooked up in the back seat like we used to.

She hates when I call her that.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't say my ex-wife died,

I said I have a latex wife.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FullSass
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife still misses me

But her aim is starting to improve.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
My ex wife still misses me....

But, her aim is getting better.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
My wife is okay with the fact that I still live with my ex-girlfriend.

She doesn't like me calling her that, however.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13thmurder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
My ex wife has started dating an Italian bricklayer.

She said, "It's cement to be...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
I gave my ex wife my old vacuum

Jokes on her the thing really sucked

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/handsoffmynuts08
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...

Arson.

πŸ‘︎ 292
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinjesus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but She figured out that I was only..

..after my money.

πŸ‘︎ 173
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife still misses me...

BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!!

(gravity falls, anyone?)

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slimothyjames1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I always tell people, my ex-wife has my sense of humor

That witch took everything of mine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeMan17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the crocodile get over his ex wife?

He was stuck in de Nile :(

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is mad that I keep introducing her as β€œmy ex-girlfriend”
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zortor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?

Investigators aren't sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeftClickMadness
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex wife drowned in coffee

Terrible way to go, but I'm just glad it was instant

πŸ‘︎ 244
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmac6691
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out...

...I’m just after my money.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex wife had eczema

Her tits were cracking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/barneyirl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad was told he only had 6 months to live. He said he wanted his ex wife to come live with him

Because It would be the longest 6 months of his life.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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I just got word my ex wife was rushed to the ER and tested positive for COVID-19!

So I guess she wasn’t sick of me?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah20250
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife's loser ex keeps following us around town. He tries to hide but we can always hear him giggling.

A real laughing stalk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend.

Honestly, I should have seen the signs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my ex wife that she reminded me of Slenderman

Only wanted to chase me the more paper I got.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iretoucan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
To which state did my ex-wife move after the divorce?

I don't know.

But if I see her, Alaska!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frasier_n_Chill
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex wife had an insatiable appetite for knowledge

She was an info maniac

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
When my ex wife and I divorced, I handed her a letter saying, β€œGood job. Well done.”

I wanted things to end on a positive note.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
When my Ex-Wife asked me to take her on vacation to some place she'd never been before..

I took her to the Kitchen

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I ran into my ex wife at the gym.

We didn’t work out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex wife still misses me.

But her aim is getting better!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit_reddit03
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ttttteefhuyhttfff
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better!

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitaniumPeak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex wife still misses me

but her aim is getting better

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better!,

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sharpshooter228
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex wife misses me.

But her aim keeps getting better.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/one_pun_man_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife says she misses me.

But her aim is getting better!

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yogisogoth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My ex wife still misses me

But her aim is starting to improve

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cccR3ACH
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OknataSkeltro
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2017
🚨︎ report
My ex wife misses me

But her aim is getting better!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewhal1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife still misses me.

But her aim is starting to improve.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend’s ex-wife is deaf, and she left him for her deaf friend.

He should have seen the signs.

πŸ‘︎ 382
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My Ex-Wife Misses Me

But Her Aim Is Getting Better

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/General-Owel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife still misses me...

But her aim is getting better!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cherub3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
When my ex-wife and I divorced, I handed her a letter saying, β€œIt was a pleasure. Thanks.”

I wanted things to end on a positive note.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife still misses me...

But her aim is getting better!

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedulfin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2017
🚨︎ report
After a few years, talked with my ex-wife and she still misses me

But her aim is getting better

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScheidNation21
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex wife still misses me

But her aim is getting better

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Platy-Penguin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report

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