Enteritis Puns

...and kills ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

It’s forbiden

I took gold, silver and bronze.

"You're a few weeks late aren't you Santa?" the girl behind the counter joked, smiling.

"Ho, ho, ho!" I fired back at her, in an uncharacteristic misogynistic outburst.

The son's ticket number wasn't the one picked to win. Despondently, the son told the results to his dad. In an effort to console him, his dad replied..."Well, sorry son, but you can't win the mall."

You knock on the door

They can never find probable Clause

He has gotten the vaccine and now has santybodies

'Who's your whale pal?' the bartender asked. The Old man seemed annoyed and replied, ' I don't know. Maybe Dick'.

The dog came third.

"Welcome to the towns greatest cheese shop. We have all that you might want. So, what will it be?" asks the clerk.

"Nacho cheese" responds the man

Suddenly angry, the clerk shouts at the man: "Then why the fuck are you here!"

"I'm over here dad." He replied.

I got turd place

I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.

Password must contain a letter: '123456𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒮𝑜𝓃, 𝐼𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝑒𝓁𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒿𝑜𝓎 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶 𝓈𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒 𝑔𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒸𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝐻𝑜𝓌 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓈𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈, 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑜𝒸𝑒𝓃𝓉! 𝒴𝑒𝓉 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝒸𝒽 𝓌𝑒 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎 𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽 𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝒶𝓃𝓎, 𝒶 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝓌 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒶, 𝑜𝓇 𝓈𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝓎 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝑒𝓉 𝓅𝑒𝒶𝒸𝑒𝒻𝓊𝓁𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝒶 𝒻𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓅. 𝒫𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓈𝑔𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒. 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒟𝒶𝒹'

She thought that might knock some scents into him.

Because there's always one Mordor.

He was absolutely delighted.

..hope I pull it off.

Pew-pew-pew

There’s a Taiwan.

When he’s finished, the barkeep asks if he wants another. The horse replies, “I don’t think I do...” and vanished from existence.

To get the joke, you need to know Rene Descartes’ theory “I think, therefore I am.” But if I explained that before the joke, I would be putting Descartes before de horse.

<Staring into the crowd like Fozzie Bear>

... I’ll show myself out.

I hoped one would win, but no pun in ten did.

It was tense

It was looking for guy-dance.

Even their cakes are in tiers.

Probably pterofied.

A mushroom

He was a real tan gent.

You had to send in your best puns, via snail mail, in an orderly list. I sent ten in, thinking at least one would win me a prize, but no pun in ten did.

Ethnicity

Elon Musk.

I hope it sucks seeds

I entered the wrong restroom

That’s my signature move.

Pun in,ten dead

The headline?

PUN IN: TEN DIED

No pun in ten did.

Unfortunately no pun intended

Pun in, ten dead.