π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 08 2014
Why canβt two elephants swim at the same time?
They only have a pair of trunks.
-my grandfather, just 5 minutes ago.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
How do you kill a BLUE elephant?
Shoot it with a BLUE elephant gun.
How do you kill a PINK elephant?
.
.
.
.
Hold it's nose until it turns blue then shoot it with a BLUE elephant gun.
π︎ 82
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How do you get Down off an Elephant?
You donβt, you get Down off a Duck
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
My friend worked at the zoo to circumcise elephants, the pay was bad but...
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
The best way to tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant is
that one of them is an elephant.
π︎ 209
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
How do you fit an Elephant into a Safeway bag?
You take the βSβ out of Safe and the βFβ out of way!
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because a suitcase is just not enough
π︎ 31
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're that good
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
What do you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
How do you get out of an elephant?
You run around until you're all pooped out!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Why donβt you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because theyβre really good at it.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
I don't understand how some people don't care about elephants being an endangered species.
I guess they just find them irrelephant.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
I bought my friend an Elephant for her room...
She said "thanks". I said "don't mention it"
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jun 08 2020
A Japanese zoo just celebrated the birth of a baby elephant
Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
Why donβt elephants like small cars
Because they need more truck space.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
What do you get when you cross a rhinoceros and and an elephant?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
If you're riding an elephant, you should wear a backpack
You can't put your stuff in the trunk.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.
He's breaking all sorts of records.
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Im investing in baby elephants
π︎ 57
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
TIL: Two elephants of the same herd wonβt go into the same body of water together at the same time.
Itβs because they only have one pair of trunks between the two of them.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
I saw a big animal during the safari. I think it was an elephant
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
Yesterday, I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
And later a rhinoceros in the buff.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
An elephant walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "what's with the elephant in the room?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
What's a cross between an Elephant and a Rhino?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
Why can you never find an elephant hiding in a tree?
Because they are really good at it.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Why was the elephant standing on a marshmallow?
So it wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
(Joke from my dad has been telling since the 80s.)
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"
I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."
My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.
EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
Why can't an elephant forget?
He has a trunk full of memories.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
What do you get when an elephant sits on the fence?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
What do you call coffee made from elephant dung
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
βHow do you breathe through something so small?β
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Did you hear about the exploding elephant?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
How can you tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant?
One of them is an elephant
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't. You get down off a duck.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because theyβre so good at it.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it!
π︎ 41
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Why canβt you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because theyβre really good at it.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
How do you get out of an elephant?
You run around and around until you are pooped.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
How do you tell the difference between an Asian, and an African Elephant?
It's simple. One of them is an elephant.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Cause they're really good at it.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
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