Eileen Puns

I recently met a woman with one leg. Her name was Eileen. She worked as a waitress at IHOP.

If you are consenting adults who have reached a mutual understanding first

Eileen......

What do you call a woman with two legs?

Noleen

but I broke it off.

I said "I can get behind you on that."

Guess who’s come crawling back

Eileen.

Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”

Ilene

Eileen

She single-handedly changed his life.

In the woods by Teresa Green And Cliff tragedy by Eileen Dover

Then they played "Come On Eileen" and I got kicked out.

She walked up to me and i could see that one leg was shorter than the other.

I asked her,"What's your name?"

She said,"Eileen."

I said,"Yes I can see that but what's your name?"

Eileen

Eileen.

Our new store manager broke an ankle and had to be on one of those knee scooter things for a long time. Her name?

Eileen

I was like, "askews me!"

Eileen Dover

Eileen.. Unless she's from Asian descent and then she would be Irene.

I have so, so many...

"The Road Is Shut" by Elaine Closed. "I'm Outta Gas" by Phil McCarup "How To Tie Shoelaces" by Ben Doon "A Cliff Edge" by Eileen Dover "A Book Of Churches" by Cath Headrall "I've Eaten Too Much!" by Buster Gutt "A Book On Soft Cheeses" by Phil Adelphia

And finally, "A Book On Domestic Pets" by Rabi Tuch... (...Rabituch...) (Rabbit hutch)

~100 Yards to the Outhouse, the True Story of Willy Maket by Betty Dont

~One Legged Woman by Eileen Offtin

~The Yellow River by I.P. Freely

~Stripper Bliss by Ivana Taketoff

~Lines in the Sand by Dick Dragon

This just happened. My cousin was talking about a girl in her class who decided not to walk during their graduation. My aunt asked her what the girl's name was. When my cousin said "her name is Eileen or something" my aunt replied with "Oh, the girl with one leg?" She got a lot of groans.

My folks and their friends came to visit for a week. We're having a beer at the bar and we're talking about high school for some reason.

Female friend: All of my old friends are either dead or have a one leg.

Dad: Wait. You know her too?

FF: Yeah, Dorothy. She only has one leg.

Dad: Oh, I thought you were talking about Eileen.

What do you call a guy who lays on the floor outside your door?

Matt

What do you call a guy who just floats in water?

Bob

What do you call a lady who has one leg shorter than the other leg?

Eileen

"Hey, do you know that new couple that just moved in? Ben and Eileen Dover?"

Cue huehuehuehues

Eileen

Eileen

Her name was Eileen.

Eileen

Eileen

Eileen

Eileen.

What do you call an Asian girl with one leg?

Eireen.

Eileen

Eileen.

Eileen

What do you call a Woman with one leg?

"Eileen."

What do you call a Chinese Woman with one leg?

"Irene."

What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?

Eileen

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg longer than the other?

Irene