Eileen Puns

I recently met a woman with one leg. Her name was Eileen. She worked as a waitress at IHOP.

If you are consenting adults who have reached a mutual understanding first

I'm lack toes intolerant.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs .....at your front door? Matt

...in your swimming pool? Bob

....in your mailbox? Bill

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs who is popular with the boys? Hedy

What do you call a woman with no arms and 1 leg? Eileen

What do you call a Chinese woman with no arms and 1 leg? Irene

Her first name is Eileen.

Eileen.

Whaddya call her Asian cousin.

Irene

but I broke it off.

I said "I can get behind you on that."

Guess who’s come crawling back

Eileen.

Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”

Eileen

She single-handedly changed his life.

Then they played "Come On Eileen" and I got kicked out.

In the woods by Teresa Green And Cliff tragedy by Eileen Dover

Eileen

Eileen.

Our new store manager broke an ankle and had to be on one of those knee scooter things for a long time. Her name?

Eileen

Eileen Dover

I have so, so many...

"The Road Is Shut" by Elaine Closed. "I'm Outta Gas" by Phil McCarup "How To Tie Shoelaces" by Ben Doon "A Cliff Edge" by Eileen Dover "A Book Of Churches" by Cath Headrall "I've Eaten Too Much!" by Buster Gutt "A Book On Soft Cheeses" by Phil Adelphia

And finally, "A Book On Domestic Pets" by Rabi Tuch... (...Rabituch...) (Rabbit hutch)

~100 Yards to the Outhouse, the True Story of Willy Maket by Betty Dont

~One Legged Woman by Eileen Offtin

~The Yellow River by I.P. Freely

~Stripper Bliss by Ivana Taketoff

~Lines in the Sand by Dick Dragon

My folks and their friends came to visit for a week. We're having a beer at the bar and we're talking about high school for some reason.

Female friend: All of my old friends are either dead or have a one leg.

Dad: Wait. You know her too?

FF: Yeah, Dorothy. She only has one leg.

Dad: Oh, I thought you were talking about Eileen.

This just happened. My cousin was talking about a girl in her class who decided not to walk during their graduation. My aunt asked her what the girl's name was. When my cousin said "her name is Eileen or something" my aunt replied with "Oh, the girl with one leg?" She got a lot of groans.

What do you call a guy who lays on the floor outside your door?

Matt

What do you call a guy who just floats in water?

Bob

What do you call a lady who has one leg shorter than the other leg?

Eileen

"Hey, do you know that new couple that just moved in? Ben and Eileen Dover?"

Cue huehuehuehues

Eileen......

What do you call a woman with two legs?

Noleen

Ilene

Her name was Eileen.

Eileen

Eileen

Eileen

Eileen

Eileen

Eileen.

What do you call an Asian girl with one leg?

Eireen.

Eileen

Eileen.

Eileen.. Unless she's from Asian descent and then she would be Irene.

Eileen

What do you call a Woman with one leg?

"Eileen."

What do you call a Chinese Woman with one leg?

"Irene."

What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?

Eileen

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg longer than the other?

Irene