I heard Giuliani dyed?

It leaked a few days ago.

πŸ‘︎ 376
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beard_on
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I dyed laughing at this.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_vasiliss
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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I went and got some of my hair dyed blonde.

It was the highlight of my day.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunn_with_this
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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I drank some food coloring and I dyed a little inside.
πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandyHoey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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She Was What We Used To Call A Suicide Blond - Dyed By Her Own Hand
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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My girlfriend dyed her hair red, saying shes a blonde in disguise.

I responded, "ah so you're a red herring"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSurreal55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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My wife was unsure if she liked the color she dyed her hair.

The day after, she decided she did like it and said "My hair is really growing on me."

I said "How else could it have gotten up there?"

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heyitsmikeyv
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
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My friend was complaining that her hair was dyed the wrong color.

I told her that it sounded like a hairy situation

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/USCgamecocks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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I had a dream that I invented a new color

But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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I accidentally ate some food coloring today.

The doctor says I’m fine but I feel like I dyed a little inside.

πŸ‘︎ 306
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryvee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Dy-son
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Billyb0bj03
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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This pun is dan-dy
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eben_Marco_K
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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Was this posted here?
πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Serbiaball_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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I just witnessed a guy getting shot with a paintball gun.

He dyed on impact.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I applied a red food coloring to my sheep.

It dyed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOnlyShyG
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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How about a punctuation joke?

Y'know, a comma-dy!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/janinka709
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Cow in front of my house was showing me real attitude

She was being Moo-dy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Navi66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Hospital Visit

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said.

Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I found out my wife's hair stylist passed away, she asked me what happened.

She dyed.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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My mate set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby."

I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a nappy...

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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What do Italian cowboys say?

Ciao-dy

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartanofepic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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Why are ghosts so fat?

Because they're scared to exorcise...

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Attikey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2016
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An interesting title.

Like many Brits I like a hot drink in the morning. The first one is really special. Dyed gold, and in a golden cup.

It's my gilt tea pleasure.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fufuxache
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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Black shoes and boots are made out of

Carbon dyed ox hide.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.

The poor man dyed a loan.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Graveyard

Did you know graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

People are just 'DYING' to get in there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuukieyLuuk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Do you know why they banned those red coloring dental tablets that revealed where you hadn’t brushed your teeth properly?

Because every time your dentist gave them to you she dyed a little inside!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarynxm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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This is little derivative

^^^dy/dx

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife spilled her red hair coloring all over the bathroom

It looked like somebody dyed in there...

πŸ‘︎ 781
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwampWight
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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My wife mentioned that a friend’s beard looked nice today. I said, β€œYou know what they say about beards...”

They grow on you.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/upallday
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
A blonde woman walks past a store window....

A blonde woman walks past a store window. She sees a sign that says "we do not sell to blondes" in the window, but goes in anyways.

She finds an employee and points at a TV and says "I want that TV!". But the employee says "sorry ma'am, we don't sell to blondes."

She decides to go home and try again the next day. She dyes her hair and puts on different clothes. She walks in, finds an employee, points at a TV and says "I want that TV!". But again, the employee says "I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't sell to blondes."

The woman is now very angry. She goes home to try a third time. She cuts her hair, dyed it again, puts on makeup and new clothes, and tries again the next day.

She walks in and finds another employee, points at the TV, and says "I want that TV!". But for a third time, the employee says "ma'am, I'm sorry, but we don't sell to blondes."

At this point the woman is furious. She exclaims, "How did you know I was I blonde?"

The employee calmly answers, "Ma'am, that's a microwave."

((My dad told me this one.))

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsaFrozen2013
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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May not be a Dad yet, but got the little sister pretty well with this one imgur.com/a/1riYV
πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weewwwwww_sweiton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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When my roommate streams on Twitch I like to invade his chat with puns. Thought you might enjoy
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordsyphilitis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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I just swallowed a bunch of paint

The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little bit inside

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuchiBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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What do people say when two hippies are killed at the same time at a shirt factory?

They tie dyed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TZ112
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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My joke of the day

My daughter brought her friend over. Said she had her hair dyed.

Me: your hair died? So sorry. When’s the funeral?

Got both of them groaning with that one. 😁

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictorHelios1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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That man changed his hair color

He dyed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eruption19
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Truck hauling pigment collides with tour bus on bridge and both fall into river

Thankfully no lives lost, but everyone dyed

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Got my friends while browsing movies

Me and two friends are browsing the comedy section for a movie to watch.

Friend 1: "What's that movie, the one with the cow?"

Friend 2 clicks on it

Friend 2: "It's apparently a documentary"

Friend 1: "Why is there a documentary about cows here?"

Me: "It's a cowmedy"

Friend 1 & 2 groans

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nicke94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
🚨︎ report
My Dad told me a joke about colored food...

I dyed a little on the inside.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I just shot a guy with a paintball gun.

He dyed on impact.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I drank a bottle of food coloring..

I dyed a little on the inside...then I blue chunks

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife spilled her red hair coloring all over the bathroom...

It looked like somebody dyed in there...

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food colouring.

The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siyuze
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring the other day.

The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/one-last-hero
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I swallowed some food coloring today.

Doctor says I’ll be fine, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I drank some food colouring yesterday.

I think I dyed inside.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_akbar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report

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