I guess I consider myself die-curious
Dad: I see you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, is your character a dwarf?
Me: I'm playing a Gnome dad... we've been over this
Dad: I'm sorry - I must not be familiar with the... Gnomenclature
I guess you can say they are roll playing ...
I'm currently running my players through a D&D adventure titled "Curse of Strahd".
Last session, my players found a journal revealing details about the main villain, Count Strahd Von Zarovich. When they acquired it, I passed the adventure book over--opened up to an illustration depicting the journal's pages--and one of the players proceeded to read. After struggling for a bit, he said, "I'm having a tough time reading this cause it's so cursive."
Yes," I responded. "It's the cursive Strahd."
I had that one chambered and ready for weeks, just waiting for the right moment.
What my players don't know is that I'm also going to include a few other bits of flavor for my them to find as they progress through the game:
Once I talked my dad into playing Dungeons and Dragons with me and my friends. We were looking over his character sheet before the game when he noticed "Darkvision 60 ft." He asked me what that meant.
I said, "It means you can see 60 feet in the dark."
"But only if there are 30 people."
He didn't have the right gear!
So we are playing dnd and our Catfolk Barbarian gets sick from being bitten from a giant tick a few days ago. She's pretty salty about it because it's made her physically weaker and she can't hit thing as well. The GM (her dad) says "She is sick with a disease that's like an extreme form of lime disease." "My God". I said "It's Lemon Disease." Without skipping a beat the GM says, "Yes. And it's made a sour puss."
We all die.
Hi everyone! I need some dad jokes involving ghosts and poker for a dungeons and dragons campaign I'm doing. Thanks in advance to all you that have some!
Dungeons & Daddies
A D&D real play podcast about four dads from our world transported into the Forgotten Realms and their quest to rescue their sons. Not a BDSM podcast.
Anthony Burch ( from Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin' and Borderlands 2 fame) is the DM (Daddy Master)
I am 6 episodes in and this is the most fun, creative and funniest RPG campaigns.
Give it a try and enjoy!
You know a pun is fully mature when it is fully groan.
Stolen from the book I am currently reading, Dungeon Eternium: Divine Dungeon Series By Dakota Krout
I'd be Dungeon Master
It was called Dungeons and Dragons.
We were waiting on a friend to login to run a dungeon and i am just out picking herbs. I am being silly and just herbing and running away from the NPC’s
She says i should keep it up and eventually i will be a Herbing Legend!
I was playing FFXIV with my husband and one of our friends. We had all been drinking (me more than them).The three of us were all in our living room, and as we approach the final boss area in one of the dungeons we hadn't done before, this rears up out of the water and I shriek, "HEY GUYS! WHAT'S KRAKEN???!!!"
Our friend turned around in his seat with the most disgusted expression on his face, pointed at me, and said, "Get out."
I started giggling so hard I nearly fell off the couch, and sputtered: "Sorry. I'll quit kraken stupid jokes."
Ha. Yayyyy puns. :3
King Broderick was in trouble. He wasn't a very good king, and his brother Argyle was gathering forces to depose him and take the crown. In desperation, he captured Count Petrie, a very popular man who was one of his brother's cronies, and tortured him to learn his brother's location.
But the count wouldn't divulge the information, so the King scheduled a public execution. The crowds gathered, including the King's brother, who was there in disguise. The Count was forced to kneel, with his head on the chopping block. The headsman stood nearby, holding his axe at the ready. King Broderick loudly proclaimed "Count, you are here before me because you have aligned yourself with my brother. If you tell me where he is, I will allow you to live out your days in my dungeon. Remain silent, and you will die." The Count remained silent. King Broderick motioned to the headsman, who slowly raised his axe and swung it down...THUNK...into the wood next to the Count's head. The Count star... keep reading on reddit ➡
I have come to the conclusion that the reason for trolls causing flame wars is a direct result of Dungeons and Dragons.
See, in dungeons and Dragons, the only way to kill a troll is with fire and acid. So when a troll enters a forum thread, the flame war that erupts is an attempt to kill the troll with fire.
I suppose an acid war could also erupt, but those who would use acid seem too stoned to care.