DS is broken
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burger_com
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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What's the difference between an old greyhound bus station and a lobster with double Ds?

One's a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/busty_crustacean
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
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What's Weird Al Yankovic's favorite style of breasts?

Pair-o' Ds

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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What are Bees favorite accessory?

Bee-ds..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Name puns for Britney

Britney is a really common name and yet we don't have many puns for the name.

C'mon guys show some creativity and come up with puns for Britney.

Write any pun you know.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HarlemShakespeare
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Embarrased my 15yo daughter today at McDs

Ordered a cafe mocha at a ghetto McDs. African American "Barrista" asks me "you want the chocolate drizzle?"

I replied: "drizzle my nizzle" in the most white snoop dogg voice i could muster.

Barrista laughed. Daughter shrank. I then held my head high for the rest of the day. F'n proud was I.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegogetter222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
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I bought some adhesive bandages in Canada.

I got some Band-"eh"ds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellyjandrews
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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My son laid this one on me today.

We were walking past a shop in which there was a dog.

DS:what type of dog is that?

Me: a boxer.

DS: no it's not.

Me: yes it is.

DS: then where's his gloves?

(I know this isn't like most posts here but thought it might pass)

edit: he's 12 by the way. And already all about the puns. I feel for any children he has in the future)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zombeedee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
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saw this on r/jokes and had to share it

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/friscosoa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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Got my son yesterday

So we were coming back from a mountain biking trip and we passed a sign that said "Coda." Both of us being musicians I said, "Hm, looks like we're gonna have to go back there when we get home."

If you don't get it in some musical pieces the composer will put in a coda. They could put in a DS al coda or DC al coda which means either go back to the beginning or a weird s marking, play to the word coda then skip to the coda symbol and play to the end.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2016
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"Well, isn't that normal?"

I was complaining to my dad about how a girl from our school with straight Ds got into Duke on a swimming scholarship. He said "Well, isn't that normal?" I looked at him funny and he said, "Shouldn't swimmers be below C-level?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megannotmeagan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
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