because they lighten me up
« What is the best death according to you ?
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I think the best way to go is to die like my grandfather... he fell asleep and never woke up.
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Dying in your sleep is indeed said to be the best way to go. So what do you consider the worst way to die ?
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Like my grandfather’s friends.
-Why ? How did they die ?
-They were in the car when Grandpa fell asleep. »
Never gets old.
But it's pretty twisted.
Car:*Crashes and engine starts setting on fire*
My dad: *escapes burning car*
Me: *Stuck*
Me:"DAD QUICK HELP I'M STUCK AND THE CAR IS GONNA BLOW SOON"
My dad:"Hi Stuck im dad"
Because you can't C in the dark
“This takes me back.”
Dark, isn’t it?
Those were the darkest days of my life.
You saw-dust. (There were exaggerated winks after. And a elbow to the ribs. It was glorious)
Edit: thanks for the love: My kid asked me if I was gonna share it on Facebook. I don’t use Facebook so I said I’d share it here. He’s practicing his jokes, he said, so he can be a good big brother. He’s got a corny sense of humor and loves a good dad joke.
For the couple of you who think I pimped his joke for Karma, look outward to that speck of light in your dark life. That light is your asshole. Go that way to remove your head from from it.
The cold shoulder.
The man never took it seriously at first, he figured he was just getting older and blamed it on age.
After a few weeks, the man has developed an incredible frequent and annoying cough.
His wife is annoyed and is constantly telling him to go the doctor, but the man kept refusing.
One day during an argument, his wife has had it with his coughing and hacking and tells him "Im making a bet, if this damn coughin kills you i'm writing ' I told you so' on your tombstone!"
The man laughs her off since they both have a twisted sense of humor, and tells her its a deal, if the coughin kills him she can carve that.
The man continues on for another week
One day the man is out going for a walk through his neighborhood, when a freak accident occurs between a truck carrying coffins and a car, which results in a coffin flying off the truck, tragically landing on the old man and kills him.
Later at his funeral, his wife makes a very odd request to have them carve "I told you so" on his headstone.
When the caretaker asks her why she wants to do this, she tells him about their dark humor, and fills him in on the bet they recently made.
The caretaker is touched by the story, and agrees to do it for her, because in the end,
It was that damn coffin that killed him
Dark humor and anti-vax kids
not everyone gets it
