We were learning about politics and discrimination in class. Our teacher told us to grab colored pencils.

He then corrected himself. What he meant to say, was pencils of color.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Sparky_
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Two things I cannot stand in this sick world is discrimination

And the Dutch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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Bros before hoes? That's discrimination

We need to keep a homie-hoe-stasis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Y_M_N_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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A Martian has filed a race discrimination lawsuit against a major US corporation

This Martian went to apply for a job, despite his low qualifications. The interviewer asked about college education and the Martian said he didn't have that. When asked if he ever did that line of work before, the Martian said no. So the interviewer thanked the Martian for coming, but added that he thought that the Martian was a bit too green for the job -- hence the lawsuit.

(Not original, but I don't remember where I heard similar.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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Had this conversation with my co-worker regarding the recent age-discrimination case in Oregon.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeanzelini
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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Gender Discrimination

We had elections earlier in our university and one of the panels comes up to us and gives us a whole speech about why we should vote for them. They even bring in a manifesto and everything expressing every single benefits we could get from voting them. They later tell us how they're not gender biased and have a female in their panel where-as the opposition doesn't. I stand up all serious and shit and tell them how their panel falls under gender discrimination. They ask me why.

This piece of paper says manifesto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinMELVIN
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2014
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How do you call a country where everyone discriminates each other?

Discrimination

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raaxen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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You shouldn't discriminate against first graders based on their age.

That's just sixist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Griffy_42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What do you call someone who discriminates against aliens?

A space-ist!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malgus2001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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The maffia does not discriminate against mob bosses who date both men and women.

They let bi-Dons be bi-Dons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Two pieces of string slither into a bar...

They climb up a couple of bar stools and have a seat. One of them says to the bartender, "Hey, give me and my partner here a beer would you?"

The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So they climb down off of the bar stools and slither across the floor and out of the bar.

One says to the other,"Lets go down the street. I know of a better bar than this one anyways."

"Now wait a minute, said the other string.This is clearly discrimination!"

"Well what do you intend to do about it?"said the other string?

"I'm going to go back in with a disguise and I'll get that damn beer." So he ties himself in a knot, frazzles up one end of himself,goes back into the bar,slithers across the floor and climbs up the bar stool. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer please."

The bartender says," Wait a minute . Aren't you the same piece of string that was in here a while ago?"

So the string said, "No.I'm a frayed knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Photoshop is discriminating...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shubhamk123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Why does everyone discriminate against necromancers?

I mean, can't a guy raise a family in peace?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrimsonBlade2015
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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I discriminate against people who don't parent their kids the way I parent my kids.

I'm a total raise-ist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kayneargand
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
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You know what the toughest thing about being a gay black police officer is?

The discrimination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill__DeWahl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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People in wheelchairs can't stand when they're made fun of
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πŸ‘€︎ u/just_a_gene
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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What do you call a group of whales on a TV show?

A podcast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danwright32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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My wife only eats one type of yogurt and refuses to try any other brand.

She discriminates against other cultures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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Did you know that 80% of Japanese businessmen have cataracts?

The rest have Rexuses, Rincolns, and Ramborghinis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serpentofnumbers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
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The quadratic formula is prejudiced!

It discriminates!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpecOpsAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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After interviewing people for a position at my work

I asked a co-worker about her thoughts on the guy we just interviewed:

Her: I think it's a go, but I've having some reservations.

Me: Why? He's not a restaurant.

she laughed, but others within earshot groaned

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeluxeTea
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
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I had to ask my dad for help...

...getting a teacup off the top shelf in the cupboard. I complained about the lack of a stool or stepladder so I could reach those most important of cups. He handed me the cup and said "It's discrimination! Apart-height's a terrible thing"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pocketnotebook
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2015
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I was over at a friend's house last night and she said she would never date a short man.

I told her that was the height of discrimination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/janus10
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
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