It's called John Legend Dairy.
Old Gravy.
(Day late sorry)
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
Attire
She looks amazing going down the stairs.
Now they'll have to let me in
...
...
...
That's the joke.
The authorities are looking into it
He was rooted in place and couldn’t leaf.
The invitation said to look sharp.
I guess it's just in my nature.
It was a pirate copy.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡He loves to belittle people
She brings out the breast in me
Tunics and leggings just don’t look good with Nike Monarchs
Carpenter: wooden tie?
Roll on Monday.
The birds were all over me.
It's called "Transistor Radio".
What can I say? I really like collared greens.
Hey, itsa fongool...
He didnt realise it was a "crypto night".
Must of been Cyndi Larper
They want to prioritize Lift over Drag
Mrs Doubt-Pfizer
The pants were back by poopular demand.
Attire
Because batman swore to protect goth ham.
Attire.
So I packed all her clothes and left.
Cattleina or ranch
My dad told this joke to me today
I turned a few heads
A tire
Like most bills these days, I never made it out of the House.
In social situations it's always best to avoid faux paws.
He was told he must be present to win.
Attire
She finished by saying “don’t wear my clothes anymore!”
Attire
6: “Look dad! I’m a lion!” Dad: “Always tell the truth son.”
Attire.
Attire
It’s a bunch of thinly sliced cabbage with a mayonnaise based dressing.
