Doberman Puns

In Heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.

The German Shepherd said, “I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.”

“Good!” said God. “Sit at my right side.” Then God asked, “Doberman, what do you believe in?”

The Doberman answered, “I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.”

“Aha,” said God, “you may sit on my left.”

Then God looked at the cat and asked, “And what do you believe in?”

“I believe,” replied the cat, “that you are sitting in my seat.”

My Zähne, my doberman, my blue world. She fell I'll about 20 days ago and I think I'm going to lose her. She may be dying. I'm just not ready for this. We have had family pets all my life, but this is MY first doggo. The first one that chose me as their person. She has become a part of me.

She started passing blood clots and a mass showed up all of a sudden behind her vulva area. It was as big as a fist in a mere few hours. She was rushed to the vet and we learned she had vaginal hyperplasia-- he vagina was trying to come out of her. It's rare. They gave her meds to stop the bleeding and also antibiotics to treat the bladder stones we learned were filling her bladder. My poor baby girl. She's 7, but still my baby.

This weekend she began vomiting. It hasn't stopped. The vet isn't in to see her so the office has me monitoring her and is trying to get her some meds ordered. She needs surgery. She needs it asap but I don't have the money. I've started a gofundme and it's raised $275 but I've already spent most of it on the visits and meds she has had. I'm failing her. I HAVE failed her. She has saved my life several times and now I'm letting her die.

The guilt is killing me. I'm so ashamed. I wish I had a mother to hold me. I wish I had a father to be strong for me. I wish I had some way to be as good to her as she's been to me. How do I make her understand how much she means to me? How do I say goodbye? How do I get through this? I don't think I can.

Hi all,

I have a 9 month old Doberman, had him since he was 8 weeks. Started training early on but decided to board and train him when he was about 5 months. He spent 5 weeks at a reputable training academy, learned basic obedience to advanced off-leash training. He's e-collar trained and also on prong collar. He's never had any aggression issues either.

Some of the major issues I'm having with my pup is:

1. Incessant Whining (always been a whiner but it's been borderline excessive for a while)
2. Excitement/Inability to calm down around dogs (wasn't a major issue before but he is literally whining and screaming every time he sees a dog)
3. Extremely playful and sniffy around dogs and doesn't understand to shut off (when a dog clearly is not having it)

Not to say that board and train is a fix all, but I would assume that these issues would've been a lot easier to fix with all the intense training/socialization he has gotten.

1. Whining

He has always been a vocal and pushy puppy. It seems like whining is just his go to and he defaults to whining after anything. I don't believe he is fearful or has any anxiety. Some scenarios when he whines: He will whine when I stop to pick up his poo. He will whine if we're walking and I suddenly just stop for 3 seconds. He'll whine when we stop at a cross walk. We'll have a good training session with a long walk, some light exercise. No whining at all during this 1 hour or so. I go to an outdoor fast food restaurant to order and pick up food (that he has seen a hundred times). He starts whining and screaming. There are a lot of other scenarios but these are just a few. I've tried ignoring it like everyone says but it's clearly not working. I've tried using the e-collar as instructed by my trainer, but it seems like it just makes him whine even more. He's a very dramatic puppy so prong collar corrections are embarrassing in public sometimes (he will scream even if I lightly pop his collar). Basically it looks like I'm abusing my dog every time I try to correct his whining. I know Dobermans' are a particularly whiney breed but it just seems excessive at this point.

2. Excitement

I'm not sure if he's just having raging hormones, but EVERY TIME we walk past a dog he will immediate whine, scream and want try to play. Usually the e-collar and a 'leave it' would suffice, but sometimes it's frustrating to try to control him or get him to calm down. He used to be fine on walks around dogs but lately it's been

I want this to serve as a cautionary tale for GDV, a life threatening condition that can happen suddenly. It is especially more likely to happen in big barrel-chested dogs, like Dobermans, German Shepherds, Great Danes and other breeds. Time is of the essence when dealing with GDV, even if it turns out to be simply a bad case of bloat, please take that risk of looking like you overreacted for the sake of your baby. They may be in much more pain and distress than they're showing you. Below is what I wrote for him this morning, a eulogy I suppose:

Jake had been having a rough time as of late. Aching joints so painful he can barely stand, unexplained lumps on his back... but he was getting better. The steroids helped alleviate his pain tremendously, antibiotics made it as if those back lumps were never even there. He had a really good day yesterday, he was feeling great, running around and acting like the big mean tough guy we know he's not in the backyard.

Last night, I got a call from my sister. Jake had suddenly gotten very bloated, and was unsuccessfully trying to vomit. We took him to the emergency vet, got a x ray done, and after about an hour or so, we were told his stomach had twisted (GDV). Our only options were a high risk, extremely invasive surgery, or euthanasia. We chose the latter.

He was a good boy, the goodest boy, so full of unrelenting love and goofiness. His sudden passing has broken my heart, I don't think I've ever cried so much in my entire life. But I am so incredibly thankful that his family, myself, my sister, my mum and my partner were all able to be there with him in his final moments. We were able to react quickly, his pain was alleviated as soon as possible by the vet.

We all love you so damn much Jakey, our beautiful baby boy even when you're covered in grey. Thank you for being such a loving companion and source of happiness for these past 11, nearly 12 years. We miss you. 🐾💕

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Hey everyone, been doing tons of research and watching YouTube videos on Doberman training. I’m not looking to use a Doberman as a guard dog but to make as apart of my family. I currently have a smaller chihuahua/Pomeranian who’s very smart but territorial. (Little dog syndrome, she can get aggressive towards other dogs)

What are your experiences with male / female? I prefer female just for their likeliness to mature faster than male. I will try my best to pick one with the friendliest temperament, but I will invest as much time needed to train and care for the dog.

How successful have you been with training? Did choosing a temperament help? Any breeder recommendations? Things to ask my breeder? And any possible regrets?

I have much respect for adoptions and rescues but I still prefer to purchase from a reputable breeder.

Of course I will ask my breeder all sorts of questions but figured I’d reach out here for second opinions.