My brothers hate me and my mom might well be on her way to disowning me because I told them the Flash didn't need to get shocked by lighting...

since he was already Barry fast.

^(sighs)

My dad however, is very proud of me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leonoraMTY
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
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To all of you who have been disowned by fathers. In honor of pride month and on behalf of all dads of R/dadjokes I just wanna say, buffalo.

Because you can always be our bi-son, and even if you don't feel like shooting straight, we will always be trans-parent with you. You are loved.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fartingpinetree
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Asked my GF why she chose this salad over the drum and bass salad, she wants to disown me.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ribbers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.

They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigFootV519
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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My parents are probably going to disown me after this
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nascarfan624
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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My dad said he'd disown me if I didn't know a twelve letter synonym for "obstructive".

That's unreasonable.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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Why did the farmer disown his son?

Because he couldn’t grow a pear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/me_me_big_boi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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Princess potato was disowned by the king and queen for marrying Tom Brokaw.

They couldn’t stand that she’d married a commentator

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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My son is already trying to disown me

Mr11: My ear just started ringing.

Me: Have you tried answering it?

Mr11: ARGH! That is so not a funny joke. Do I have to be related to you?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/venzann
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
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My mother just about disowned me for this one.

She was telling me about this movie she watched called "Forget Paris"
I said "Forget what?"
"Forget Paris."
"Forget what?"

  • A moment of sitting there trying to understand how her daughter could possibly be that deaf * and then * glaring daggers * and * made me leave the dinner table *
    My dad would have been so proud.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolsleeves
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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Fishy fish

A father fish has a bad habit of disowning his son every winter..... . . . . . . Because its the wrong sea son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayTee2459
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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It's starting to get colder in the north.

mom: It's pretty chilly out side. me: I guess I should get a spoon and a bowl!

Then she threatens to disown me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SAMISNEAT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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Just because I'm a childless female doesn't mean I can't dad joke.

Background: My SO and I were at a flea market in LA the other day where there were food trucks scattered about. The one we chose to eat at specialized in grilled cheese (my favorite food). They had a sign saying they would cater special events... I asked how far of a radius they would travel. Cheese Griller: We actually have a few trucks between here and Texas. Me: None in North Carolina? Cheese Griller: Nope. Me: Well... are you looking for any francheesors?

SO immediately disowned me and walked away.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lliz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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