A list of puns related to "Directorate"
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
It was re-choired!
It’s a take I’m willing to risk.
If it had direction, it would be called “Velocity”.
My friend was promoted to a Director the other day. I congratulated him and asked if it felt more like Spielberg or Fury. I said Fury is the one I’d pick.
Tiiiiiimbeeeeer-ton
People are dying to take a ride in it.
(As told by my friend the funeral director?
That's a wrap.
Stanley Cubic
Cut film to vent.
Sonic The Hitchcock
>!A decoffinated cafe!<
All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.
They had to denominator.
One gets in real trouble, the other in reel trouble.
Mourn flakes
Fouchy!
I would walk into every room while giving tours with my arms outstretched, head tilted slightly upwards, eyes shining, just admiring the beauty of the space and then spin around slowly and proudly state, "And this? THIS is where the magic happens!"
Get the understudy, the shoe, must go on!
Quinton Quarantino
Honestly, I couldn’t see the point.
He's been made the CIEIO
The director's cut.
His name is Tentin’ Quarantino.
Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".
Quentin Quarantino
I’m the new CIEIO
I said, “That’s a wrap.”
Film Producer: “This is supposed to be a “Buddy Cop” movie, why do they have this steamy sex scene together?”
Director: “Because everyone enjoys cop-porn at the movies!”
True story. Happen about 2 hrs ago.
Back trying. My wife and I both work in the medical field. She runs hospital employee health dept, and I’m the dental director for a public health agency.
My wife had Covid-19 in January. We were talking about the long term, later effects of Covid on people’s health.
Wife: I wonder what the residual effects of Covid-19 are. My left ear hasn’t been right since I had Covid.
Me: Well of course not.
Wife: Why? What have you heard?
Me: Well your left ear can’t feel right. It’s your left ear.
Wife: God, why did I marry you 33 years ago?
It's a dying profession
Tentin Quarantino
Quentin Quarantine-o
Vladimir Poutine
Unfortunately, one of them stole the show.
He then points at it, and says, ‘That’s a wrap, everybody.”
but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
“Open casket or closed” asked the Funeral Director.
“Yes” replied Schrödinger’s Widow.
JK Rowling
The investigation was known as the "Bueller Report"
Thank you all for coming.
That's a wrap.
I’m the CIEIO
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