Dicken Puns

I recommend the hot Dicken Cider... It's delicious.

Has a Twist in the end.

It was the best of Thymes, it was the worst of Thymes.

Bit of a let down if I'm honest.

I got them all the other Dickens books though.

Great Expectorations

The best of Thymes, and the worst of Thymes.

Scared the Dickens out of me

Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

“It was the best of times, it was the wurst of times...” 🤦🏻‍♂️🤨

Schrodinger: This is already my favorite book of all time!

Novel-ty

It hurts like the Dickens >_<

My dad and I were at the checkout counter:

Dad: "I love cider."

Me : " the only cider I like is 'Hot Dicken's'"

Dad: "Hot dicken's cider, never heard of it."

Cashier : groan

Dad: groan

I'm away at university and my dad calls me up while I'm doing last minute homework:

Dad: What are you up to?

Me: Just finishing an essay about Dickens' Hard Times for class. I'm really busy, can I call you back in a couple hours?

Dad: Oh, that sounds like a hard time!

Me: (Sarcastically) Well it's not the MOST fun I've ever had.

Dad: (long pause followed by a sigh) Are you having a hard time with the joke?

Me: No, (chuckles) I get it dad... but I've got to go!

Dad: You sound like you're having a hard time.

Me: Dad, I got it.

Dad: (scoff) Ahhh, I'm just giving you a hard time!

Me: Dad.... I've got so much work to do.

Dad: I'll let you go then; glad to be of help during this hard time. Good luck on your essay! (hangs up)

Today my girlfriend asked if I wanted anything to drink with dinner. She texted me asking if I wanted beer or cider or wine. I replied "cider would be nice. See if they have Dicken's Cider. I've heard it's good." She couldn't find it and, I shit you not, she asked a sales person if she could get Dicken's Cider. I'm still laughing.

Mother in law had a copy of Charles Dickens great expectations on the coffee table and i saw an opportunity i couldn't pass up.

I got my wife's attention and heaved a sigh.

Wife: "what's wrong? "

Me: pointing to the book "it was such a letdown"

Wife: "how so? "

Me: "well, when i first picked it up i had great expectations..."

Wife : groan/laugh "i should have seen that coming"

This wasn't the first dad joke I'd made today but one in a long line of them. i had also said this a few minutes previous to her best friend who caught the joke before i finished and did nothing but loudly sigh and groan. This is what first caught my wife's attention.

It wasn't as good as I'd hoped.

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes

I got the other Dickens’ books though.

The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

Same as any martini but with no Olive or Twist.

And asks for a martini

.

.

.

The barman says "Olive or Twist ?"

I got him the other books by Dickens though.

I got them all the other Dickens’ books though.

It hurt like the Dickens.