So I sprayed it with water and yelled “bad phone!”
It totally worked! Now my phone doesn’t call anybody
...In retrospect, I should've realized it when the number didn't ring a Bell.
Me (Text): You butt dialed me twice today!
Dad (Text): I am sure my butt had it's reasons.
-_-
I swear it’s the only booty call I’ve ever made.
Alco-hol you.
I said, "That's just nuts."
I couldn't turn it down.
A boomer rang.
Gator-aid.
I texted my Dad a link to the initial headline. His response is in the link below.
http://imgur.com/gallery/cAM4mhO
But I was able to e-merge.
"Don't worry, sir," reassured the dispatcher. "Emergency services are on their way. Just try to remain calm and stay with her until they arrive."
"How long will the ambulance be?" the man asked.
"About eighteen feet," replied the dispatcher.
He must have had a lot of time on his hands.
… is that a sun dial?
the network responded "The number you have dialled cannot be reached."
For some reason, my phone calls it insta-gram
It is so uncalled for.
Went to my 1st Rotary club meeting.. surprisingly has nothing to do with old phones..
Now she's on a watch list.
It's very risky when you butt dial somebody and they pick up, because then it's your ass on the line
I saw a radio for $1. The volume dial was broken but I knew i couldn’t turn that down.
"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"
"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."
Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."
"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...
Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.
"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.
Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T
... keep reading on reddit ➡Then it just becomes a soap opera
I call it: InstaGram
I call that Instagram.
Call it Instagram
Instagram.
Instagram.
That's what I call instagram
Instagram.
Let's call her instagram!
