I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
My doctor just diagnosed me with a severe lack of awareness.
Man! That came out of nowhere!!
π︎ 152
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︎ Oct 26 2020
I was just diagnosed with Mime disease...
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants....
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 20 2020
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
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︎ Feb 05 2020
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
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︎ Aug 01 2020
My friend was just diagnosed with a flesh eating bacteria, so I texted him to see how he is doing.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I have been diagnosed with special vision able to identify comic buffoonery and ridiculous humor...
...my optometrist just told me that I'm very farce-sighted.
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 11 2020
I've just been diagnosed as color blind
It really came out of the purple
π︎ 102
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︎ Jun 02 2020
I was diagnosed with a condition where I can't stop making airport jokes.
The doctor said it was terminal
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 22 2020
Iβve been diagnosed with a terrible disease that makes me tell an abundance of airport jokes...
The doctor says itβs terminal
π︎ 49
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︎ May 08 2020
I got diagnosed with a bleeding disorder today.
I'm just trying to B positive.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Today I diagnosed someone with wrinkled clothing. He had an iron deficiency
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 10 2020
My friend was diagnosed with water on the brain...
We gave him a tap on the head and he is fine now.
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︎ May 09 2020
I've been worrying a lot about my life since the doctor diagnosed me with insomnia.
It's keeping me up all night.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 12 2020
My Doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation.
Now I'm worried shitless.
π︎ 31
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︎ Mar 01 2020
A heavy metal fan was diagnosed with coronavirus
Heβs down with the sickness
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 09 2020
Iβm a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. Itβs Leprechronic.
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 15 2019
I just got back from the doctor, and was diagnosed with a faulty imagination
I can't make this shit up
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 06 2020
I was diagnosed as colorblind yesterday
It came completely out of the purple
π︎ 166
π
︎ Jun 21 2019
Alex Tribek was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer
... I guess his life is in Jeopardy
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 07 2019
Iβve been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think Iβm an airport building.
Hope itβs not terminal.
π︎ 15
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︎ Nov 04 2019
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 19 2019
The doctor diagnosed me with impatience; says I only have 6 weeks
But I canβt wait that long...
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 17 2019
I was diagnosed with an advanced case of ADHD.
π︎ 372
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︎ May 03 2018
My friend is really struggling in trying to make clothes for people diagnosed as anorexic.
It's not really a growing market.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 27 2019
I was just randomly diagnosed with being colorblind
It just came out of the yellow.
π︎ 34
π
︎ May 07 2019
I recently got diagnosed with IBS and Crohn's
It just runs in my genes.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 06 2019
Iβve been diagnosed with Alzheimerβs so many times I canβt even keep track
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 06 2019
I was diagnosed as a sociopath, and now my family is afraid of me.
I donβt understand why the would feel that way.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 11 2019
I've just been diagnosed as colorblind
It really came outta the green
π︎ 18
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 26 2020
My doctor diagnosed me with severe lack of observation.
That came out of nowhere.
π︎ 108
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
I was just diagnosed as colourblind
You know, it really came out of the purple
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants...
π︎ 30
π
︎ May 08 2020
I was Diagnosed with chronic fear of Giants
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 09 2019
I was recently diagnosed as being colourblind, it really came out of the green.
π︎ 41
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︎ Sep 12 2019
I have been diagnosed with a very specific type of Amnesia.
It causes me to deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no Cure!
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
π︎ 78
π
︎ Sep 21 2019
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants...
π︎ 27
π
︎ Sep 27 2019
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Sep 22 2019
I just got diagnosed as color blind
It really came out of the purple
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
I was diagnosed as colour blind today.
It really came out of the purple.
π︎ 69
π
︎ Apr 06 2019
Iβve been diagnosed with the fear of giants..
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
Iβve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants..
π︎ 277
π
︎ Aug 20 2018
I was just recently diagnosed with colorblindness.
It totally came out of the green.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Feb 07 2019
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