I’m a faux pa.
Edit: This took off a lot better than I expected.
I feel like a father figure now.
I told him “tread lightly”.
It was an undeterred undie turd
it seems that no employer will take a chance on me.
You know..Turkey.. stuffing... Cranberries..and Masked Potatoes.
Suit yourself
Because he Never Lands
The truth is, it's genetic. I actually come from a long line of dads spanning many generations.
Death care.
His appetite was whet.
it remains popular.
Ironic.
Despite not receiving a single hit, the red shirt died.
I heard the atmosphere in their stadiums is contagious.
Just so I cover all the bassists.
People that complain too much make me wanna chug whine bottles
They all have their faults.
So he always has a couple hoes with him
she's worked very hard and i know it's been difficult for her, but i'm very proud. she's in possibly the best shape of her life and she is once again confident in her own body, but i will endlessly love her despite what she looks like.
what, were you expecting me to say something about a baby?
That's no small feat.
The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.
The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Dissatisfied with the style of life that he found there, The Monk decides to move into a suburban neighborhood and start up his own line of work. Being trained in the peaceful ways he gets on very well with his neighbours who eventually notice that he has a very strange profession. Despite being very strong and very philosophical The Monk elects to repeatedly visit places with broken fences and remove and replace them.
One day has neighbour approaches him and asks, "with the physical strength and mental capacity that you seem to have, are you not interested in a more physically or mentally challenging job?"
To which The Monk replies, "but everybody knows reposting gives you the most karma."
She just doesn’t have the balls anymore
Oops, wrong sub.
I guess I just have good Depp perception.
Because then they'd be a Foot
Mao’s little read book
Despite the bulging eyes, horrible nose, weird ears and all round ugliness, the dog seems to like her.
He must be too dense.
I’ve been sleeping on it for a long time
- Foods I will eat.
- Foods I won't eat.
He disabled his pop-up blocker.
Boy, were they Sorry.
I'm still getting used to calling her David.
I can still remember comforting me when I got overwhelmed - giving me a hug and saying "there, their, they're."
Despite all the new features, I was pretty shocked to find out it wasn’t waterproof.
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
