We'll see about that...
they're not called the Order of the Jelive
If it were served warm it would be justwater.
>! Revenge of the Fifth!<
Because revenge is a dish best served cold
6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?
6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.
Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.
12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.
Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.
Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.
Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.
Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"
7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.
A Christmas stalking.
A Reichening
Dad: so what do you want for dinner?
Me: food
It is super lame but understand my satisfaction. He used that joke so many times lately
Because next year is 2022
Once upon a time, there was a small desert village with a single well on the outskirts of the town. One morning, a woman went to the well to fetch water for the day. The lady was crying and the well heard this. A voice came from the well and asked βwhatβs wrong?β
The lady stopped sobbing and asked the well, in utter disbelief, βyou can talk?β
βYesβ the well said, βlong ago, the witch living in this town gave life to me so I could protect the towns peopleβ
βAlasβ the woman said, βI am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the town for many years, but the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the townspeople up against her. The town burnt my mom at the stake! I am still young and do not know much magic. I tried to curse the town, but failed, and now I fear I may never avenge my mother.β
βDo not be afraidβ the well said, βI will take care of this.β
The next morning the mayor was going to the well to fetch water when he heard an odd noise. He peered over the edge to look down as far as he could when an impossibly long arm shot up at him. The arm grabbed the mayor and dragged him down into the depths of the well. There was a horrible crunching sound and the mayor was never seen again. The townsfolk apologized to the witchβs daughter and everyone lived happily ever after.
See moral above for the pun...
Revenge of the Smith
Apparently Iβve been looking for love in Alderaan places.
Weβll see about that
Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.
The Chinese chef maliciously dumped a hot broth with dumplings on an obnoxious customer. It was a wanton soup attack....
So my Dad and I were on the highway, after travelling for a couple hours, he said that he was hungry. My response? "Hi hungry, I'm Samdaman222, but there's a Big Mack". Pointing to the truck that was just passing.
I was happy with the joke being a double whopper.
Edit: Grammar.
May the 5th be Cinco de Mayo.
It seems he wasn't very poplar, and is now deciduously less alive. If he returns from the dead, he'll definitely be pining for revenge.
One day, a son walks into the living room and says, "I'm hungry."
The Dad says with a grin on his face, "Hi, Hungry! I'm Dad."
The son groans and walks away. About 15 minutes later the son walks back into the room and says, "Dad, I'm are you hungry?"
Again with that same stupid grin on his face, the Dad says, "Hi, are you hungry? I'm Dad."
As soon as he said it, the Dad realized his mistake and the son was never hungry again.
Whenever she sneezes I say "achoo!". This morning she sneezed twice, so I said "achoo" twice. She said "no dad, you mean achtwo, because I sneezed twice!"
I guess she's getting her revenge. She'll make a fine dad one day.
...so, out of revenge, I stole a barrier from their yard.
I guess you can say that I took a fence.
Tomorrow will be Revenge of the 5th
They'll pay for that
Because she was told, βRevenge is a dish best served cold.β
He was Loki, a revenger
Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"
Man doesn't laugh
Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."
No response
Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wonder Woman"
Nothing
Clown asks: "Have you heard of the baseball team the Chicago Hot Dogs? They are the wurst"
Doesn't crack a smile
Clown asks: "Why was the alcoholic so annoying? He wined too much"
Clown starts to get nervous
Clown asks: "The disinterested hockey player got a penalty. What was it? Boarding"
Blank look
Clown asks: "What is a nun's favorite card game? Old Maid"
Yawn
Clown asks: "How do crustaceans celebrate birthdays? With crab cakes"
Annoyed
Clown asks: "What do you call a champion deer? A Win-doe"
grasping at straws
Finally Clown asks: "How do sheep sleep when they have nightmares? Baaaaadly"
He never laughs. Clown gives him his $100 and asks "Did any of my jokes make you laugh?"
Man says "No pun-in-ten-did"
He is reported to have said "revenge is sweet"
I will find you... you have my word!
Grapes suck man, I mean potatoes they're appealing ;) and can even grow back even after being smashed ;) out drunk, but grapes they just get drunk and wine and wine and wine ;), oh and corn, god who needs corn, they just party but pop off ;) for no reason, they say after its waters temper ;) but... well I guess water is not good either, they get angry and just boil ;) over... oh and I heard some news about tomatoes they had an affair with cherries ;), I heard that tomatoes wife is gonna get revenge by dewing grass ;), but I can only say one thing the plant party was wild last night.
Some guy waring silver drawers came up to me and told me to go fork myself. That wasn't very knife of him to say but spoon I shall get my revenge.
It was payback for the last movie we watched together...
If it were served warm it would be justwater.
Because if it were served warm it would be justwater
Because it's just ice.
In other words, revenge is ice cream.
Dead ant, dead ant. Deadant deadant deadant, dead ant, DEAD AAAANT. Deadant.
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
