Beast-Man gets off a revenge pun. youtu.be/gmfzKotk2hE?t=64…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noumenon72
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.

We'll see about that...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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It kinda spoils the ending of Revenge of the Sith once you realize...

they're not called the Order of the Jelive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saeldaug
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Justice is a dish best served cold...

If it were served warm it would be justwater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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My 9 year old told me this: What happens if you party to hard on May the Fourth?

>! Revenge of the Fifth!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BockBock2000
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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Why should you give someone ice cream when you want revenge?

Because revenge is a dish best served cold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Sweet revenge:) (also the edit is because I had to translate the message so sorry about that)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderJus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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What do you call a revenge seeking crustacean?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WOW_incredible
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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Whoever you are, I will plot a revenge in your garden...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grumpy_ass
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Number wars, a dad joke story.

6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?

6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.

Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.

12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.

Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.

Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.

Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.

Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"

7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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"Ho, ho, ho," the jolly bastard mused, unaware I'd been slinking in the shadows for days, ready to unleash my revenge. I'd memorized his patterns, followed his every move, and had set the perfect trap. Down the chimney, ensnared by my noose, and left hanging above the fireplace; I got what I wanted.

A Christmas stalking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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What’s the German word for revenge?

A Reichening

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCready419
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Got revenge on my dad

Dad: so what do you want for dinner?

Me: food

It is super lame but understand my satisfaction. He used that joke so many times lately

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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Did you think 2020’s done with you? Well you’re wrong!

Because next year is 2022

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Moral of the story: living well is the best revenge

Once upon a time, there was a small desert village with a single well on the outskirts of the town. One morning, a woman went to the well to fetch water for the day. The lady was crying and the well heard this. A voice came from the well and asked β€œwhat’s wrong?”

The lady stopped sobbing and asked the well, in utter disbelief, β€œyou can talk?”

β€œYes” the well said, β€œlong ago, the witch living in this town gave life to me so I could protect the towns people”

β€œAlas” the woman said, β€œI am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the town for many years, but the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the townspeople up against her. The town burnt my mom at the stake! I am still young and do not know much magic. I tried to curse the town, but failed, and now I fear I may never avenge my mother.”

β€œDo not be afraid” the well said, β€œI will take care of this.”

The next morning the mayor was going to the well to fetch water when he heard an odd noise. He peered over the edge to look down as far as he could when an impossibly long arm shot up at him. The arm grabbed the mayor and dragged him down into the depths of the well. There was a horrible crunching sound and the mayor was never seen again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter and everyone lived happily ever after.

See moral above for the pun...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManGood2002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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What should they have named the third Matrix movie?

Revenge of the Smith

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBatJ3w
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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I’m still single on Star Wars Day...

Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/e3-po
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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Repost from u/gameryadin
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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My psychiatrist told me I have a problem with wanting revenge

We’ll see about that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patmcheese
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaneTuesday
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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Absolutely souper

The Chinese chef maliciously dumped a hot broth with dumplings on an obnoxious customer. It was a wanton soup attack....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Got revenge on my Dad.

So my Dad and I were on the highway, after travelling for a couple hours, he said that he was hungry. My response? "Hi hungry, I'm Samdaman222, but there's a Big Mack". Pointing to the truck that was just passing.

I was happy with the joke being a double whopper.

Edit: Grammar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samdaman222
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
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May the 4th be with you.

May the 5th be Cinco de Mayo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdventurersClub
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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A man was beaten to death with a tree branch

It seems he wasn't very poplar, and is now deciduously less alive. If he returns from the dead, he'll definitely be pining for revenge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hello_Hurricane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Son Gets Revenge

One day, a son walks into the living room and says, "I'm hungry."

The Dad says with a grin on his face, "Hi, Hungry! I'm Dad."

The son groans and walks away. About 15 minutes later the son walks back into the room and says, "Dad, I'm are you hungry?"

Again with that same stupid grin on his face, the Dad says, "Hi, are you hungry? I'm Dad."

As soon as he said it, the Dad realized his mistake and the son was never hungry again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DozenRoses
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2016
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Dadjoke revenge from my daughter

Whenever she sneezes I say "achoo!". This morning she sneezed twice, so I said "achoo" twice. She said "no dad, you mean achtwo, because I sneezed twice!"

I guess she's getting her revenge. She'll make a fine dad one day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanSpice
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
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Someone said something really mean to me...

...so, out of revenge, I stole a barrier from their yard.

I guess you can say that I took a fence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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Revenge
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IrishLaaaaaaaaad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
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May the 4th be with you for today, but remember....

Tomorrow will be Revenge of the 5th

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBuddy12
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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People tell me I'm obsessed with getting vengence

They'll pay for that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Why did the blonde divorcΓ©e keep her bullets in the refrigerator?

Because she was told, β€œRevenge is a dish best served cold.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Thor’s brother didn’t want anyone to know he was helping him save Asgard

He was Loki, a revenger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ladder_of_cheese
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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A clown bets an old man $100 he can make him laugh. Man says "Sure, it won't happen"

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wonder Woman"

Nothing

Clown asks: "Have you heard of the baseball team the Chicago Hot Dogs? They are the wurst"

Doesn't crack a smile

Clown asks: "Why was the alcoholic so annoying? He wined too much"

Clown starts to get nervous

Clown asks: "The disinterested hockey player got a penalty. What was it? Boarding"

Blank look

Clown asks: "What is a nun's favorite card game? Old Maid"

Yawn

Clown asks: "How do crustaceans celebrate birthdays? With crab cakes"

Annoyed

Clown asks: "What do you call a champion deer? A Win-doe"

grasping at straws

Finally Clown asks: "How do sheep sleep when they have nightmares? Baaaaadly"

He never laughs. Clown gives him his $100 and asks "Did any of my jokes make you laugh?"

Man says "No pun-in-ten-did"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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After being robbed a farmer beats up a thief with a sugar cane.

He is reported to have said "revenge is sweet"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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"To whoever stole my copy of my Microsoft Office..."

I will find you... you have my word!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whats_SarcasmYT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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Man I hate grapes

Grapes suck man, I mean potatoes they're appealing ;) and can even grow back even after being smashed ;) out drunk, but grapes they just get drunk and wine and wine and wine ;), oh and corn, god who needs corn, they just party but pop off ;) for no reason, they say after its waters temper ;) but... well I guess water is not good either, they get angry and just boil ;) over... oh and I heard some news about tomatoes they had an affair with cherries ;), I heard that tomatoes wife is gonna get revenge by dewing grass ;), but I can only say one thing the plant party was wild last night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mjk2581
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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I made a silverware pun awhile back. Thought I'd share it.

Some guy waring silver drawers came up to me and told me to go fork myself. That wasn't very knife of him to say but spoon I shall get my revenge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KissTDss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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I just asked my 7 year old son 150 questions while he played Minecraft...

It was payback for the last movie we watched together...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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Justice is a dish best served cold

If it were served warm it would be justwater.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Justice is a dish best served cold

Because if it were served warm it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onion-volcano
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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You know why they say revenge is best served cold?

Because it's just ice.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
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Revenge is a dish best served cold. Revenge is also sweet.

In other words, revenge is ice cream.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ethan_Roberts123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spider_Dimwit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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What did pink panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant. Deadant deadant deadant, dead ant, DEAD AAAANT. Deadant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ims666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?

A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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