The Grim Reaper went to collect a soul. Upon arriving he says to the unfortunate man: "Your time has come, prepare to leave the land of the living and follow me to the gates of heaven. Now come and don't hesitate, for I am unforgiving. Or else you will wander in the shadow realm for eternity!

Hi unforgiving, I'm dad"

"Yes you are"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sint__Maarten
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Schrodingerโ€™s Cat has committed unforgivable crimes.

He is wanted dead and alive.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MajicMan101
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Number wars, a dad joke story.

6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?

6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.

Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.

12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.

Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.

Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.

Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.

Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"

7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Calthropstu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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The Rude Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the birdโ€™s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the birdโ€™s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the birdโ€™s vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that heโ€™d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Johnโ€™s outstretched arms and said โ€œI believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. Iโ€™m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.โ€ John was stunned at the change in the birdโ€™s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke up, and asked very softly : โ€œMay I ask what the turkey did?โ€


I'd like to thank my friend John for sending me this dumb joke

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fred1840
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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