Wanda-ful
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JezzaX86
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Dad: If there is some of it, then it's good. If it is ful of it, it's bad. What's the thing?

Me in my new underwear: I don't know....

Dad: Awe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabersober
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Get out of me flu
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Therealjuggahoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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There’s only one word to describe a dog’s terrible day

Ruff

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RAClef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I chipped my tooth on a stale French loaf.

It was painful πŸ‡«πŸ‡·πŸ₯–

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neuroprancers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Why was the director unhappy with the close-ups in the Dark Knight trilogy?

All he was getting was Bale-ful looks.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTattedspyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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What did one butt say to the other butt?

You’re booty-ful!

Thanks to my 9-year old daughter for that one!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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5 year old daughter Dad joked Dad.

My daughter and I were walking through the mall yesterday and asked if we could buy one of those Frozen decorative finger nail sets.

I told her, "No, we are only window shopping today." She with the most smug look I have ever seen replies back with "We don't need a new window."

She got that nail kit.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/archer66
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2015
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When the cashier gives your change only in smallest cents in the country

Why are you so re-cent-ful of me?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeoSunny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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At the dinner table

Dad: Pass the cheese please?

Me: passes cheese

Dad: Thanks, you have no idea how grate-ful I am

Me: ...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Born2Folk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2015
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If you're injured, call the law offices of...

Passing a billboard for the law offices of Powell, Powell, and Powell, I said to my wife, "Those are the attorneys I would call."

"Why?"

"They're obviously the most Powell-ful firm in town."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hossalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2016
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I like legoland

It's very piece-ful.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Huahuawei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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Why should you never trust an unmade bed?

They're dis-sheet-ful!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/istolethisface
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Two birds are flying around..

Bird 1 flies into a window. Bird 2 says, "Wow, that must have been pane-ful."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lowlyemployee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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100 Paw-sitively Meow-nificent Cat Purr-ns Fur Mew to Use Whenev-fur Mew Need
  • Allow => A-meow
  • Apology => A-paw-logy
  • Appalling => A-paw-ling
  • Attitude => Cat-titude
  • Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
  • Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
  • Because => Be-claws
  • Before => Be-fur
  • Bother => Bo-fur
  • Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
  • Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
  • Catch => Cat-ch
  • Clever => Claw-ver
  • Confusing => Con-fur-sing
  • Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
  • Different => Dif-fur-rent
  • Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
  • Familiar => Fur-miliar
  • Feeling => Feline
  • For => Fur
  • For real => Fur real
  • Forever => Fur-ever
  • Forget => Fur-get
  • Fortunate => Fur-tunate
  • Forward => Fur-ward
  • Friend => Fur-end
  • Furious => Fur-ious
  • Further => Fur-ther
  • Get or Got => Cat
  • Help me out => Help meow-t
  • History => Hiss-tory
  • Hysterical => Hiss-terical
  • Inferior => In-fur-ior
  • Kidding me => Kitten me
  • Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
  • Literally => Litter-ally
  • Literature => Litter-a-ture
  • Lost => Claw-st
  • Lying => Lion
  • Magnificent => Meow-nificent
  • Marvellous => Meow-velous
  • Minimum => Mew-nimum
  • Misery => Mew-sery
  • Moment => Mew-ment
  • Mountain => Meow-ntain
  • Move => Mew-v
  • Music => Mew-sic
  • Musician => Meow-sician
  • Never => Nev-fur
  • New => Mew
  • Now => Meow
  • Over => Ov-fur
  • Paper => Pay-purr
  • Pardon me => Paw-don me
  • Pause => Paws
  • Perfect => Purr-fect
  • Perhaps => Purr-haps
  • Permission => Purr-mission
  • Person => Purr-son
  • Personal => Purr-sonal
  • Persuasion => Purr-suasion
  • Places => Purr-laces
  • Please => Paw-lease
  • Portable => Paw-table
  • Positive => Paw-sitive
  • Possibility => Paw-sibility
  • Possibly => Paw-sibly
  • Precious => Purr-ecious
  • Prefer => Paw-fer
  • Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
  • Pretty => Purr-ty
  • Priceless => Purr-iceless
  • Prince => Purr-ince
  • Princess => Purr-incess
  • Puns => Purr-ns
  • Purpose => Purr-pose
  • Referring => Re-fur-ing
  • Respond => Res-paw-nd
  • Simple => Sim-paw-le
  • Suffer => Suf-fur
  • Superior => Su-purr-ior
  • Tale => Tail
  • Talent => Tail-ent
  • Tell => Tail
  • That’s all => Cat’s all
  • Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
  • Very => Furry
  • Whenever => Whene-fur
  • Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
  • You => Mew
  • Apologize => A-paw-logize
  • First => Furr-st
  • How are you? => Meow are mew?
  • Morning => Meowrning
  • Phon
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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Friend uses a lot of small candles as decorations.

Her place looks tealight-ful

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2016
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Recognized I had a dad joke during lunch today

Wife was making some Greek sandwiches for lunch today and the pita bread wasn't cooperating.

Wife: "This pita bread is terrible."

Me: "Yup, it's awfully pita-ful."

Wife sighs.

Me: "What? That was awesome!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rockleezombie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
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Dadjoked my girlfriend at her job

She was working in the shoe section at a major department store, and after she helped someone find some shoes and purchase them I told her "Wow, you're very sole-ful when selling shoes!" she responded with a bit of a facepalm and groan. I continued to make puns about shoes for several minutes and I finished with "Maybe I could master the feet(feat) of making puns about shoes." I suppose she gets tired of hearing my puns but I love her reactions to them.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninja8259
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2015
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