Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Somewhere, between murder, and suicide........
There is a place called Merseyside - Milton Jones at the Apollo live
Police are investigating a murder in which the victim was shot with a starters pistol.
The police think it's race-related.
Sherlock and Watson arrived on the scene of a murder and the only clue was a measuring tape pulled out to exactly 12 inches.
Apparently something was afoot.
TIL that Mona Lisa was once accused of murder
For the charge of murder, the judge only gave Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci community service
because they were goodfellas
What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
Abortion isn’t murder
Its just cancelling your pre-order.
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.
But it's definitely number 2.
A murder investigation or a murder investigating?
Did you hear about the lettuce farmer who was murdered on his way to the farmers' market?
They found his romaines at the scene of the crime.
What do you call a murder in Greece?
Why would you never murder on an elevator?
Because it's wrong on so many levels
A murderous fortune telling dwarf...
is technically a small medium at large.
I recently bought my only Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday.
.. just so glad She's now finally independent.
What do you call a murderous clown whos good at investments?
What’s the most effective way to write a murder mystery?
A murderer once stopped killing, became lazy, and was only enjoying life. He became a
When I found my little son on the floor, I briefly thought a murder took place
Fortunately, it was just a kid napping.
We need help naming some murderous cats.
We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.
We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.
We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.
So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.
We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??
A murder investigation or a murder investigating?
I heard someone was planning a murder
I was worried until I found out he was a Crow
What do you do to a murderous egg?
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
Found a life hack to never get murdered
Just stay in the living room.
How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?
I've been charged with murdering a man with sandpaper.
But, to be honest, I just intended to rough him up a bit.
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
I asked a friend for one reason I shouldn't murder my boss.
His answer was simple. There is no Netflix in prison.
Murders being conducted all over this block
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
I told my wife that she should embrace her mistakes.
Then she smiled and hugged me tightly.
Not your normal format, but I have to share as I am pretty proud
For context I work in a prison as a nurse. The other nurses were looking up charges for one of the inmates and hes in for capital murder. One of the nurses asks, "Whats the difference between capital murder and just murder anyway?" to which I was quick to say "usually a bigger M"
I guess Ive been a dad too long now that it comes natural
A man was murdered by being forced to drink bleach
What do you call appetizers at a murder mystery party?
Murderer jokes are very dark
But sometimes they kill the audience
I witnessed a murder today
But as I got closer it flew away
What did Margaret Attwood title her latest murder mystery novel, about an Egyptian serial killer who kept drowning people?
Before crowbars were invented
^(most crows drank at home by themselves.)
If a group of crows is called a murder of crows...
does that mean 2 or 3 would be an attempted murder?
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
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