I have the heart of a lion…

And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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What do you call someone who commits a murder with a deck of cards that only has clubs, spades, and diamonds?

Heartless

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lego_luke
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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Bee's that sting people are pointless
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IKluke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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The dad joke I'm going to hell for

I was watching tv in the office when a story about heart transplantation comes on. Without missing a beat I turn to my co-worker and say: "well he's pretty heartless", she turns and nods, turning her attention back to the tv and then looks back at me a second later with a look of disgust but also smiling.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tom555
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2014
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