Depths Puns

https://imgur.com/gallery/yr8skve

We were explaining the word depth and how it relates to the word of deep.

Kid can't say the word depth. So he said:"the entire univuse is pretty Def right dad?!"

I chimed in immediately: "I'm sure it is kiddo universe due to the too few ears in it."

They’re inconsistent seas.

Icy dead people.

ME: Probably a depth perception issue

I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”

Bob.

(It’s padre’s birthday and he just dug that one out of the depths of his memory...)

‘Because we don’t need depth perception with our mouths ‘ was his technically correct answer

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Depth perception.

Once upon a time, there was a small desert village with a single well on the outskirts of the town. One morning, a woman went to the well to fetch water for the day. The lady was crying and the well heard this. A voice came from the well and asked “what’s wrong?”

The lady stopped sobbing and asked the well, in utter disbelief, “you can talk?”

“Yes” the well said, “long ago, the witch living in this town gave life to me so I could protect the towns people”

“Alas” the woman said, “I am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the town for many years, but the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the townspeople up against her. The town burnt my mom at the stake! I am still young and do not know much magic. I tried to curse the town, but failed, and now I fear I may never avenge my mother.”

“Do not be afraid” the well said, “I will take care of this.”

The next morning the mayor was going to the well to fetch water when he heard an odd noise. He peered over the edge to look down as far as he could when an impossibly long arm shot up at him. The arm grabbed the mayor and dragged him down into the depths of the well. There was a horrible crunching sound and the mayor was never seen again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter and everyone lived happily ever after.

See moral above for the pun...

But I can't fathom

Depth perception

This is deep

Because they have depth.

I recently bought a pool on Amazon and the height wasn't even close to what was advertised.

You can go there to read my review in depth.

The depths of the prose were hard to fathom!

He thinks it's a matter of life and depth.

Us watching the news cast telling us they were rescued.

Dad: “Wow that’s crazy. And even after that long ordeal they still can’t have any alcohol to celebrate.”

Me: (Wondering if it had to do medically with the length of time they were underground or the extreme depth.) “Really? Why?”

Dad: “Because they are still miners”

With only one eye, they have terrible depth perception.

It's the depth charges.

It was a waist of time.

My friend said there was a bunch of fish on the depth sounder so I told him to slow down the boat. When he asked why I said it's a school zone

Johnny Depth

In the car. Husband(H) and son are having an in-depth conversation about LoL skins. Daughter(D) chimes in. D: Are you guys talking about LoL? H: Yup. D: Wow ( with very sarcastic undertone ) H: ( with out missing a beat ) Not WoW, LoL. Groans all around.

There was a dad behind me.

His wife asked, "what row are we in?"

He said, "dolphin row."

She looked confused and like she had enough of his shit.

He smiled and said "E. Like a dolphin." Then he broke out into a high pitch dolphin squeal, "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

The depth of her sigh took five years off my life.

My girlfriend was at my apartment when she made a comment about how the water in my aquarium looked low.
I replied that I had never noticed; I had terrible depth perception.

She ignored me.

"You know the only difference between kissing ass and brown nosing is depth perception"

Dad: i can't believe we're going to see a cartoon Me: there's a lot of depth to Pixar movies Dad: yeah, especially if it's in 3D!

Depth perception