Daylighting Puns

He said the times they were a-changin’.

No time like the present!

They might Clock me

Scared the daylights out of the people in the frozen food section

>!Because it's a lochturnal creature!<

And why is he saving time so much?

Hope this hasn't been done before lol don't clap me if it has lmao

Not even a dad joke but yano no other sub to post it

Like clockwork

I always have trouble staying up that late to change my clocks.

Oh how times have changed....

So, my town has a major highway that runs through it, and a bridge that people can walk over. Well, some guy decides to tie a ball to a string and dangle it over the side of the bridge. That way, any car that goes under the bridge will think they hit something and the guy could have a good laugh. Well, a semi comes through, and the ball gets caught on the mirror. The guy's arm gets ripped clean off, and he's sent to the hospital right away. The truck driver gets pulled over as he's passing through another town. The arm is still dangling from the mirror. The truck driver is then arrested, for armed robbery. (Badum-tsss) (Thank you, thank you. I can't wait to get 3 whole karma for this one.)

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to hand him the money.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said,

"Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."

The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much,to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all.

Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 year

That was a pretty bald move

https://youtu.be/x0lUM8MRPCk

CEST le temps.

This is what I posted to Facebook yesterday. http://imgur.com/a/bBp10

Dad responds with "if you were more careful with your stuff we wouldn't be losing it all the time"

Me: "My computer froze, could you help me?" Dad: "Tried thawing it?"

Groans were made

Being retired, my spouse often loses track of time, days and dates. I reminded hubby that we would lose an hour tonight. The response - "I lose days at a time, an hour ain't nothing."

Mom: It's seems so late. Sister: It's only 7. Mom: Yeah, but it seems later. Dad: Like 8 o'clock?

Day.

Call it daylight ravings

Not sure if you saw the media blitz early yesterday morning, when Sean Connery announced to the world that it was Daylight Shavings Time.

Daylight SHAVINGS time!

it's daylight robbery.

After getting nagged for swearing I say "Times have changed." My dad replies with "You're right, it's daylight savings."

Santa clock came while we were sleeping

Edit: This is what my dad would say every daylight savings time, twice a year, every year, when we were kids.

My dad is a night owl and my mum is an early bird, meaning he has a good few hours to plot and scheme his dadjokes...

Well the other evening, he decided to scare the living daylights out of my mum by drawing a face on a melon, stuffing it in a hoodie with rubber-gloves, shoes and jeans and posed it in our morning room.

Now my mum gets up real early, and walks around the house in a grumpy daze, grumbling, scratching and squinting and whatnot with a grim face looking for something to nag about, so you can imagine the sheer pride he (probably) felt wrapped up in bed with that dumb dadjoke grin from his "Hilarious prank", to hear a loud "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" coming from across the hall.

Needless to say i'm pretty sure she found something to nag about that morning.

The Times They Are a-Changin'

It was about time