Damages Puns

A list of puns related to "Damages"

If alcohol can damage your short term memory

Imagine the damage alcohol can do.

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👤︎ u/Nav_the_gamer
📅︎ Jan 04 2021
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My friend today is intentionally staring at the sun to cause eye damage.

Look on the bright side, today will be the last time he sees 2020....

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👤︎ u/RasberryOnline
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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COVID-19 can cause damage to the brain, heart, and lungs.

Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed
📅︎ Oct 02 2020
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A conspiracy enthusiast told me that to many nose swabs for Covid could cause brain damage.

I told him that President Trump gets tested every day!

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👤︎ u/Sparkei1ca
📅︎ Oct 19 2020
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Ducks love raw potatoes and will attempt to unearth them with their bill. Enthusiastically mistaking rocks for potatoes can cause damage leaving them...

debillatated

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👤︎ u/Stroger
📅︎ Aug 20 2020
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Quasimodo is suing Notre Dame Cathedral for the damage to his back from all the Bell-ringing.

I think he might be getting a big lump sum.

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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy
📅︎ Nov 20 2019
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Mate of mine used a modified Fatman in a New Vegas inspired talbetop-RPG. We both found the damage calculation of the lingering damage the GM thought of quite punny:

"Type: Radioactive Fallout, 7d6"

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👤︎ u/RoughShadow
📅︎ Sep 21 2019
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A church recently sustained a lot of damage, and had to hire a contractor in order to replace all of it's bells which were destroyed. After completing the work, all of the contractors were promptly arrested.

They were charged with re-belling.

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👤︎ u/linknt01
📅︎ Aug 21 2019
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If you watch Bohemian Rhapsody too many times, it might cause damage to your nervous system.

Because of the unusually high Mercury content.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Feb 20 2019
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I tried cleaning the house, ended up with a bunch of salt water damage.

Thats the last time I use Tide

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👤︎ u/robertdowneysoft
📅︎ Aug 02 2018
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The lights on my roof damaged Santa's sleigh last night. I was really worried he'd demand I pay for the damages.

But I don't owe anything; it was on the house.

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👤︎ u/Maimonides_vii
📅︎ Dec 25 2018
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My friend's son was talking about how it was bullshit that you took fall damage in games.

I agreed with him that it was totally unreasonable. It should be spring damage.

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👤︎ u/Calthropstu
📅︎ Apr 04 2018
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A great name for an auto body repair shop that specializes in fixing hail damage would be "The Dentist"
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👤︎ u/dataxpress
📅︎ Jul 21 2015
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Did you know if you punch someone with a lighter clench in your fist you will do less damage to the other person.

Because it is a lighter punch.

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👤︎ u/Spartan17492
📅︎ Dec 02 2016
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Hurricane damage report from my dad

http://imgur.com/hTIWTOD

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👤︎ u/swac
📅︎ Oct 10 2016
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TIL damage to the V1 area of the brain can cause a condition called "blindsight".

But damage to the V8 can make you a vegetable.

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👤︎ u/mechaxis
📅︎ Sep 25 2014
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If alcohol can damage your short term memory

Just think what alcohol can do!

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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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