Mrave, Cytoplast Dealer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aryatho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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Ravnica OCs - Indra Nephus (PC) and Kavin (NPC), altruistic immortality-seeking Simic deserters, cytoplast-researching founders of the Guildpact-violating Caetos Project, and, most importantly, devoted couple.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/datamancy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Cytoplast Inocultation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ButterBritches681
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Cytoplast Pillar
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chainsawinsect
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Cytoplast Reclamation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanznock
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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Cytoplast Dreadmaw
πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Etharia1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Cytoplast Dreadmaw
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwise3s
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Combine Slimekite - using cytoplast to cast and protect your critters
πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanznock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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Cytoplast Infusion
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Cytoplast Swine [Riot + Adapt]
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Many of you felt the brunt of the long shaft and widened tip of his grenades in the tournament. I present The Man, The God, The Legend, Cytoplast and his GMeds youtu.be/xoR9Nu6xBeI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cant_afford_gas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
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Ruling Question: Cytoplast Manipulator + Infinite Reflection

So I'm building a casual Simic deck, and I ran into this problem.

I have Cytoplast Manipulator and Kalonian Hydra on the field. I've used CM's ability to take control of a handful of my opponent's creatures. I cast Infinite Reflections targeting Kalonian Hydra.

Part 1: Do I still maintain control of all the creatures I got with CM after they're all changed to KHs, and if not, do the creatures leave my control before or after they turn into KHs?

Part 2: If I do maintain control of the opponent creatures, and then the Kalonian Hydra copy that was once my Cytoplast Manipulator dies, do all of the KH copies that were once my opponent's creatures return to them, and are they still KH copies?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KiboBotch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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I heard that by law you have to turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Puns make me numb

Mathematical puns makes me number

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drak0ni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slimybirch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?

He lost May

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toku-Nation
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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When I was a single man, I had loads of free time.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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You've been hit by
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluestratmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick?

Put it on my bill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigRedHusker_X
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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No gains
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rix27_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Geometry sucks
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kash30
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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A queen size statement.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flight-less
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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Orion's belt
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Did you know all dogs are made up of only 3 elements?

Calcium, nickel, neon

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckvet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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