How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?

By sheer will.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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My barber wanted we to sign a contract before cutting my hair, but I refused...

I wouldn't accept his perms and conditions.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCraay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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What do you use to cut a Roman Emperor’s hair?

Caesars.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Son: Dad, can I get a hair cut?

Dad: Which one?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebrostein
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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My girlfriend said she was gonna cut her hair in a mullet...

I hate mullets and I told her if she did I was gonna grow a rat-tail as payback

She said, β€œYou can’t!”

β€œI will!”

β€œBut that’s rat-tail-iation!”

PS: this actually happened and I’m in love with her

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkustin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

I’ll take that ban now

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/archit14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?

If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jas280z
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Why did the lion get his hair cut on his way to the Chinese restaurant?

Because he wanted a Lo Mein

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked if she could cut the hair off of one of her barbies to make a boy barbie.

I said "You Ken if you want to."

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clowncar83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I went to cut my dads hair

When I went into the kitchen I noticed this near-empty spice bottle, when I realized what it was I had to hurry into the living room before the haircut as I pulled out this classic line with the bottle in-hand.

β€œWe have to hurry! I didn’t realize we were running out of thyme!”

I felt like the universe planted that perfectly for me.

I learned from the best, then I cut his hair.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mistafyed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I went and got my hair cut today, but I can't remember it

I think she spiked my hair

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kenny8138
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I just had to cut my own hair and I'm not really happy with it...

But it's growing on me

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superscoops
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fella who tried to cut his own hair?

He was rushed to hospital with a hairline fracture

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wholesome_cream
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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If a man who cuts men's hair is a barber...

Would a woman who cuts men's hair be a Barbara?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chewygum93
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I cut my own hair for the first time the other day. At first, I thought I did a poor job of it...

...but it's really starting to grow on me.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastGhost18
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?

A barberqueue

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgrl2494
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I cut my own hair last week...

It was a bit too short and at first I didn't like it, but it's growing on me

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrpoolube
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How do romans cut their hair?

With a pair of Caesars!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evac95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother wanted to stop getting his hair cut for 6 months, but now he doesn't want to get rid of his long hair anymore...

It really grew on him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoOfEmYesterday
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a row of men waiting for a hair cut?

A Barbercue!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stand_Defiant
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I instantly regretted getting my hair cut short.

But I'll admit, it's starting to grow on me.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ubadishnard
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Returning home from the barber, had a true old man moment today. My kid: β€œHey dad, did you just get a hair cut?”

β€œNo son, I got them ALL cut!”

The cycle is complete. I have become my father.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mardrom_Bransle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?

The baa-baa shop

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePhantomAli
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut its hair?

Eclipse it

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 303
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you get a hair cut?

No, I got them all cut

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NidalFlame
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you get a hair cut?

No, I got them all cut.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vissik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut its hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jqzzy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrA313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, did you get your hair cut?

No, I got them all cut!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebrostien
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theoriginalclarky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œ Dad did you get a hair cut?”

β€œNo I got them all cut”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heaven_Freezer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut its hair?

Eclipse it is phases.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryCoolPerson1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JenkinMan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I got my hair cut last week. I thought it was too short at the time...

... But now it's growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it

πŸ‘︎ 344
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moleyboii
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut its hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImInJeopardy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Powerhouse_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: Did you get a hair cut?

Dad: No, I got them all cut.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Paturious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair.

Eclipse it

πŸ‘︎ 435
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zyzzyva42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I recently had my hair cut.

At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wabisabi68
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?

The baa-baa shop.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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