Just caught my son spanking a cardboard cutout of Dwayne Johnson.

He’s officially hit Rock bottom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliedcola
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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There’s a tool for every job

At work, Gary has to cut holes in sheet metal and has to use a de-burring hook to remove the sharp edges of the cutout. He always catches someone with their guard down and ask to borrow their heater. Gary works inside in a warm clean building, so it’s an odd request.

Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled β€œHeater?”.

Gary replies, β€œYeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing tool” as he crosses his arms and shivers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nuclear-juniper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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My girlfriend’s dad was helping out renovating our bathroom.

While cutting out sheet rock for the tile, he hands me a circular cutout with the words β€œto it” written on it.

He began to tell me that I’ll never be able to say I’ll do something β€œwhen I get around to it”, because now I have one of my own.

After about a minute I never sighed harder in my life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrewChrist87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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[x-post] random comment in /r/food includes amazing dadjoke

Imho, the father of /u/SweatingToilet joins the dadjoke Hall of Fame with this gem.

https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/3t402c/roommate_gave_me_a_cutout_from_a_magazine_and/cx31fbt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InSearchOfGoodPun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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Manager smelled what my coworker was cookin'

So, I work with a woman named Libby who is finally retiring in two days. It's no secret that she has a crush on Dwayne Johnson, so as a parting gift/joke some other coworkers bought a figurine, a wall poster, and a life-size cardboard cutout of him and put them at her desk.

When I was visiting her, her manager swung by to see her 'guest,' and he asked if the celebrity was going to be staying in the office. Libby said "Oh no no--he's coming home with me!" He says, "Huh. I thought the pet rock fad died out thirty years ago."

He tried to play it cool, but it was pretty easy to tell that he was absolutely tickled with himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSpiffySpaceman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2014
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