Somebody keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off

I think they're stalking me

šŸ‘︎ 8
šŸ‘¤︎ u/ignorethevoices
šŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.

I think I'm being stalked

šŸ‘︎ 52
šŸ‘¤︎ u/cotswoldboy
šŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Dad went to a flower shop

Dad: Have you guys got any cut flowers?

Flower store employee: No, but we have potted flowers.

Dad: Ah, well do you have scissors?

šŸ‘︎ 3
šŸ‘¤︎ u/QzBlaze
šŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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The Legend of Zorro and the Bacon Tree

So this is a bit long, sorry about that.

Zorro and his best bud the Lone Ranger were riding through the desert one day, I forget where they were heading to or where they had come from, but we can safely assume shenanigans of some kind were the driving force.

They have been travelling for most of the day and are starting to get tired. There has been a discussion about making camp for the night, but as things are they have agreed to continue riding for a while longer, till the sun starts to set. Away and off to the west the Lone Ranger spies a plant that seems to have large pink flowers that hang in strips with white stripes running the length of them.

"Zorro, what's that over there?" he asks.

Zorro turns in his saddle and raises his hand to shield his eyes from the sun. "Ah, it looks like a bacon tree, quite common in these parts. Let's ride on, there is a good place an hour from now to set up camp."

The two friends ride on and as the sun is beginning to descend the have stopped and are making camp. As Zorro begins to make a fire he says to the Lone Ranger, "You know, I quite fancy some pork. You ride back to that bacon tree and get some for supper, and I'll finish setting up camp here."

"No problem Zorro, I won't be long" replies the Ranger, jumping back into the saddle and returning the way they came.

Time passes, and the sun begins to get low in the sky. 'Odd', thinks Zorro 'he should be back by now.' Another hour passes and the shadows are growing longer. 'I might have to go investigate, it's not like him to take his time.' More time passes, and, just as Zorro has decided that he must go search for his friend in the dwindling light, he hears the sound of Silver's hooves. Looking into the gathering gloom he sees his friend riding towards him. As the Lone Ranger nears Zorro can see the Lone Ranger is injured, there are cuts and bruises and he has an arrow through his hat.

"What on earth happened, Lone Ranger? Did you make it to the Bacon tree?"

The Lone Ranger dismounts and sighs heavily.

"That weren't no Bacon tree, Zorro. That was an Hambush."

šŸ‘︎ 10
šŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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I know its Mothers Day but,

I got sent a bunch of flowers with all the heads cut off. I phoned the police and they said its sounds like i was being stalked.

šŸ‘︎ 2
šŸ‘¤︎ u/jamieF1604
šŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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Fiance got me good while doing arts & crafts. One day he'll make a great dad.

We're getting married in less than 2 weeks and I was cutting out paper hearts for our flower girl to throw. The hearts are made out of music paper and newspaper (representing the careers we're in).

Once we had finished cutting, the fiance picks up a newspaper we had cut some hearts out of and examines it closely.

He turns to me and very seriously says, "You know, this story has a lot of holes in it."

Cue groan and begrudging chuckle. I think I picked a keeper.

šŸ‘︎ 17
šŸ‘¤︎ u/bachrock37
šŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2014
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Someone keeps sending me flowers with all the heads cut off

I think Iā€™m being stalked

šŸ‘︎ 114
šŸ‘¤︎ u/spireross
šŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Help! I think I'm being stalked...

I keep getting sent flowers with the heads cut off

šŸ‘︎ 14
šŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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