I saw another coworker using the mayonnaise with my name on it from the fridge in the break room.
I said to him, “What the Hellman?”
My coworker asked me to judge their tan...
I gave it a tan out of tan.
My coworker was changing the ink cartridge on our printer...
Me: Have you been going to the gym?
Him: Yeah, actually! Why?
Me: Because you look...toner.
Him: God damn it.
AITA for eating my coworker's subway?
One of my coworkers said today is her thirty second birthday.
I asked her how she could possibly get anything done in such a short amount of time.
Couple of coworkers talking about which eye they shoot with...
then they asked which eye I shoot with. I said neither, I use my finger.
Don’t play pranks on your coworkers.
It’s a silly habit—tricks are for kids!
TIFU by mixing up my coworkers' sandwich orders and not giving them what they requested.
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:
My coworker brought some vegetables to snack on during work, and he didn’t offer me any
It’s like he didn’t even carrot all
My coworker has to have creamer in his coffee
I told him that dairy adds cowleries.
My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.
I told him that’s an outstanding question.
I had a coworker ask "How many burgers does a cow make?"
I look him dead in the eyes and reply, stonefaced
"None. Thier hooves can't form patties."
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
My coworker was trying to reorganize his filling cabinet and got stuck when he discovered a bunch of documents about Italian dictators.
I told him to file them as Mussollaneous.
My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.
It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.
He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.
A coworker of mine told me that eating fertilizer cured him of COVID-19
but i bet he was just full of crap.
Ever since I started working from home, I've realized that one of my coworkers is a real bitch...
But that's okay, I love working with my dog.
My coworker handed me a brochure on anger management this morning.
Son of a what now?
If a man named Mitch has a boy, it would make the boy a son of a Mitch.
My coworkers and I enjoy creating visual puns
I broke my leg and had to go on Short Term Disability
It really confused me when HR told me it was a STD.
(This actually happened to me. HR emailed my insurance company telling them that I have a STD injury. Now I use the joke all of the time)
A coworker and I were talking about our boss behind her back during our lunch.
Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".
And I said : "Yes, yes we did".
I had to reschedule a work meeting today to bring my son to the orthodontist. My coworker said she was thinking the same thing because she has to visit the dentist.
I told her that was quite coinciDENTAL.
Help!
Coworker found a loophole and it’s mostly dressed as a bear. I’ve used all my bear puns! Help me make more! Work at a gas station/pizza place
My wrists are killing me from driving my coworkers everyday through tunnels and traffic.
Dr. Says I have a bad case of car pool tunnel.
Just casual exchange with coworker in the health field.
Today I went up to my coworker with a sample jar in each hand
And I said hey check this out, jar jar clinks and I clinked them together.
At my coworker's retirement party, I got up and said, "micro".
It meant very little to my retiring coworker.
A man is explaining to his coworker that he never realized how much his wife loved him until he was home sick from work the previous day
“Really?” the coworker asks. “What showed you she really loved you?”
“She was just really excited to have me around,” the man replied. “Like when the mailman and FedEx guy came to the door she shouted excitedly, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
Today while discussing game meats and a kangaroo stew I made a few years back, my coworker pointed out that with the Australian wild fires you won’t be able to get much kangaroo meat these days...
My reply without missing a beat — you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.
A coworker came up to me and said '144'.
I told him 'Eww, that's gross'.
My coworker keeps yelling about the tray of leftovers in the staff fridge stinking up the break room...
I finally snapped and told him to just put a lid on it
I worked security at a chemical plant. There had been a string of robberies at nearby chemical plants, and one night... lo and behold- we heard the alarm...
My coworker and I tried to apprehend them but they were just too phosphorus…
Coworkers were planning lunch orders
Boss asked for a number 7, coworker asked what it was, I replied with the one after a number 6
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:
AITA for eating my coworker's lunch?
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award
means to me.
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me “the most secretive guy” in the office.
I can’t tell you how much this award means to me.
At the office, the nickname that my coworkers gave me is ‘Mr. Compromise”.
It isn’t my first choice, but I can live with it.
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me “the most secretive guy” they ever met.
I can’t tell you how much this means to me.
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