Couple of coworkers talking about which eye they shoot with...
then they asked which eye I shoot with. I said neither, I use my finger.
One of my coworkers said today is her thirty second birthday.
I asked her how she could possibly get anything done in such a short amount of time.
AITA for eating my coworker's subway?
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:
TIFU by mixing up my coworkers' sandwich orders and not giving them what they requested.
My coworker brought some vegetables to snack on during work, and he didn’t offer me any
It’s like he didn’t even carrot all
My coworker has to have creamer in his coffee
I told him that dairy adds cowleries.
My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.
I told him that’s an outstanding question.
I had a coworker ask "How many burgers does a cow make?"
I look him dead in the eyes and reply, stonefaced
"None. Thier hooves can't form patties."
My coworker was trying to reorganize his filling cabinet and got stuck when he discovered a bunch of documents about Italian dictators.
I told him to file them as Mussollaneous.
My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.
It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.
He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.
Ever since I started working from home, I've realized that one of my coworkers is a real bitch...
But that's okay, I love working with my dog.
My coworker handed me a brochure on anger management this morning.
A coworker of mine told me that eating fertilizer cured him of COVID-19
but i bet he was just full of crap.
My coworkers and I enjoy creating visual puns
A coworker and I were talking about our boss behind her back during our lunch.
Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".
And I said : "Yes, yes we did".
I had to reschedule a work meeting today to bring my son to the orthodontist. My coworker said she was thinking the same thing because she has to visit the dentist.
I told her that was quite coinciDENTAL.
My wrists are killing me from driving my coworkers everyday through tunnels and traffic.
Dr. Says I have a bad case of car pool tunnel.
What do they call cops in Indiana ?
Today I went up to my coworker with a sample jar in each hand
And I said hey check this out, jar jar clinks and I clinked them together.
Just casual exchange with coworker in the health field.
A man is explaining to his coworker that he never realized how much his wife loved him until he was home sick from work the previous day
“Really?” the coworker asks. “What showed you she really loved you?”
“She was just really excited to have me around,” the man replied. “Like when the mailman and FedEx guy came to the door she shouted excitedly, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
At my coworker's retirement party, I got up and said, "micro".
It meant very little to my retiring coworker.
A coworker came up to me and said '144'.
I told him 'Eww, that's gross'.
Today while discussing game meats and a kangaroo stew I made a few years back, my coworker pointed out that with the Australian wild fires you won’t be able to get much kangaroo meat these days...
My reply without missing a beat — you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.
I worked with this guy Rob once...
...who was trying to hide he was bald. He damaged his hairpiece, not sure how, and was having a new one shipped to the office.
He was already kind of embarrassed and told us all, if you see a package for Peters (his last name) just put it on my desk. So I happen to be the one who sees it and as I'm bringing it to him my other coworker Paul asks what I have in my hands.
"Oh this?" I say, "this is Rob Peters' toupee, Paul."
I’m currently learning sign language.
I want to tell jokes that people have never heard!
(Sorry if this joke has been done, just heard it for the first time from a coworker and wanted to share.)
My coworker keeps yelling about the tray of leftovers in the staff fridge stinking up the break room...
I finally snapped and told him to just put a lid on it
Coworkers were planning lunch orders
Boss asked for a number 7, coworker asked what it was, I replied with the one after a number 6
My coworker told us this dadjoke on Friday
If I catch the Corona Virus, I hope I get Lyme Disease too.
Corona just isn't the same without a lime.
I squint at the sun because its bright...
......but, I squint at some coworkers, because they aren't.
In a conversation with a coworker discussing lunch plans. I exhaled through my nose.
At the end of the work day coworker sighs loudly and says: How did we get here?
Me: I don’t know about you, but I drove to work.
My annoying coworker asked, "Can I tell you my favorite rope tie?"
I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.
Why is tinnitus a good guest for your holiday party?
It specializes in ringing in the new ear!
Shoutout to my coworker for coming up with half of this amazing joke
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:
AITA for eating my coworker's lunch?
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award
means to me.
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me “the most secretive guy” in the office.
I can’t tell you how much this award means to me.
At the office, the nickname that my coworkers gave me is ‘Mr. Compromise”.
It isn’t my first choice, but I can live with it.
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me “the most secretive guy” they ever met.
I can’t tell you how much this means to me.
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