My coworkers who were around while I recorded this hated me. v.redd.it/z77l1s68ctd61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ben10xl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Couple of coworkers talking about which eye they shoot with...

then they asked which eye I shoot with. I said neither, I use my finger.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sybrite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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One of my coworkers said today is her thirty second birthday.

I asked her how she could possibly get anything done in such a short amount of time.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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AITA for eating my coworker's subway?

Oops, wrong sub!

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:

How’s the fission, John?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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TIFU by mixing up my coworkers' sandwich orders and not giving them what they requested.

Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinner_cat96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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My coworker brought some vegetables to snack on during work, and he didn’t offer me any

It’s like he didn’t even carrot all

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/excusetheblood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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My coworker has to have creamer in his coffee

I told him that dairy adds cowleries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoccoRacer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.

I told him that’s an outstanding question.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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I had a coworker ask "How many burgers does a cow make?"

I look him dead in the eyes and reply, stonefaced

"None. Thier hooves can't form patties."

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epic_Mustache
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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My coworker was trying to reorganize his filling cabinet and got stuck when he discovered a bunch of documents about Italian dictators.

I told him to file them as Mussollaneous.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ngabear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.

I can't tell you how much this award means to me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.

He's the new temp. Seems like a cool guy.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Ever since I started working from home, I've realized that one of my coworkers is a real bitch...

But that's okay, I love working with my dog.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamyourcheese
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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My coworker handed me a brochure on anger management this morning.

I just lost it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A coworker of mine told me that eating fertilizer cured him of COVID-19

but i bet he was just full of crap.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/palm_top
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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My coworkers and I enjoy creating visual puns
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πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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A coworker and I were talking about our boss behind her back during our lunch.

Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".

And I said : "Yes, yes we did".

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oleflitzer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to reschedule a work meeting today to bring my son to the orthodontist. My coworker said she was thinking the same thing because she has to visit the dentist.

I told her that was quite coinciDENTAL.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Promiscuous_D8a
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My wrists are killing me from driving my coworkers everyday through tunnels and traffic.

Dr. Says I have a bad case of car pool tunnel.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do they call cops in Indiana ?

Indianapolis.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLaur1337
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I went up to my coworker with a sample jar in each hand

And I said hey check this out, jar jar clinks and I clinked them together.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bipnoodooshup
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Just casual exchange with coworker in the health field.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/funkyunicorn12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is explaining to his coworker that he never realized how much his wife loved him until he was home sick from work the previous day

β€œReally?” the coworker asks. β€œWhat showed you she really loved you?”

β€œShe was just really excited to have me around,” the man replied. β€œLike when the mailman and FedEx guy came to the door she shouted excitedly, β€˜My husband is home! My husband is home!’”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
At my coworker's retirement party, I got up and said, "micro".

It meant very little to my retiring coworker.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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A coworker came up to me and said '144'.

I told him 'Eww, that's gross'.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtc2002
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Today while discussing game meats and a kangaroo stew I made a few years back, my coworker pointed out that with the Australian wild fires you won’t be able to get much kangaroo meat these days...

My reply without missing a beat β€” you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sockyg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I worked with this guy Rob once...

...who was trying to hide he was bald. He damaged his hairpiece, not sure how, and was having a new one shipped to the office.

He was already kind of embarrassed and told us all, if you see a package for Peters (his last name) just put it on my desk. So I happen to be the one who sees it and as I'm bringing it to him my other coworker Paul asks what I have in my hands.

"Oh this?" I say, "this is Rob Peters' toupee, Paul."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JSNhova
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I’m currently learning sign language.

I want to tell jokes that people have never heard!

(Sorry if this joke has been done, just heard it for the first time from a coworker and wanted to share.)

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaGoobergoobs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My coworker keeps yelling about the tray of leftovers in the staff fridge stinking up the break room...

I finally snapped and told him to just put a lid on it

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knoxollo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Coworkers were planning lunch orders

Boss asked for a number 7, coworker asked what it was, I replied with the one after a number 6

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDianthus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My coworker told us this dadjoke on Friday

If I catch the Corona Virus, I hope I get Lyme Disease too.

Corona just isn't the same without a lime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwnrzero
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I squint at the sun because its bright...

......but, I squint at some coworkers, because they aren't.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
In a conversation with a coworker discussing lunch plans. I exhaled through my nose.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_eazy_life
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of the work day coworker sighs loudly and says: How did we get here?

Me: I don’t know about you, but I drove to work.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My annoying coworker asked, "Can I tell you my favorite rope tie?"

I said, "Kenyan knot?"

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is tinnitus a good guest for your holiday party?

It specializes in ringing in the new ear!

Shoutout to my coworker for coming up with half of this amazing joke

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A powerplant worker has a hook and rod submerged into a reactor. Coworker passes by:

How’s the fission, John?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
AITA for eating my coworker's lunch?

Wait, wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 24k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PR0CR45T184T0R
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.

I can't tell you how much this award means to me.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me β€œthe most secretive guy” in the office.

I can’t tell you how much this award means to me.

πŸ‘︎ 294
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
At the office, the nickname that my coworkers gave me is β€˜Mr. Compromise”.

It isn’t my first choice, but I can live with it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me β€œthe most secretive guy” they ever met.

I can’t tell you how much this means to me.

πŸ‘︎ 250
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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