A list of puns related to "Cow Herd"
High Steaks
I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.
Scientists still don't know what the cattle-lyst was.
"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."
There was mootual destruction
Milkshakes
Dad: “Of course I’ve heard of cows! Look! They’re all over the damn place!”
Udder devastation
Officials say the steaks have never been higher
He needed a cattle list to get started
Yesterday, I took a herd of cows out for drinks.
I recently spent $46,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ...but they kind of taste like peppermint.
No response.
So he asks again, “What do you do?!”
No response.
Slightly agitated the cow again asks “WHAT DO YOU DO?!”
The farmer blurts “I HERD YOU!”
That it's impossible to lose weight by simply eating green grass and salads, and walking.
Those goddamn cow herds
So we were driving to the Ikea and I saw a bunch of young cows getting released into a field next to the highway. I pointed it out on the way back but she couldn't see them right until the last moment. She said they were hiding. So I said they were camouflaged... cow-moo-flaged
The look on her face was priceless.
Like just when I think I’m about to eat a fine pizza, a farmer comes out with a herd of cows, and walks straight on my pizza.
My friend said "a herd of cows" "of course I've heard of cows, look there's a flock of them over there!" I never saw those men again...
As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy “Hello! Sounds like you’re having some car trouble. Can I help at all?” The woman replies that she’s not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see what’s going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says “Don’t worry about your car. I’ll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.” All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. “Thank you so much, you’re a life saver,” she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying “I’m glad I could help. But I’m no life saver. I’m just a jolly rancher.”
It cow-herd in fear, like a cow-herd...
One turns to the other and says “you take all those cows over there and round them up into one big group”
The other says “what?”
The first cowboy says “you herd”
Me: Oh, look! A flock of cows.
Daughter: HERD of cows!
Me: Of course I've heard of them, there's a flock right there!
Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.
Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)
Now these are puns all about COWS
Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.
And I’d like to take a minute but I won’t stop and prattle
And tell you this story you haven’t HERD about cattle.
In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.
In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.
Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.
TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.
When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me
Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.
I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared
She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.
I whistled for a calf and when it came near
Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!
If anything I can say this STEAK is rare
But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didn’t care!
I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8
More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.
So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,
Bevo ain’t a cow, don’t got what I’m after.
Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.
"Dad, it's not a flock of cows."
"OK, a pride of cows then"
"Not that either, why are you so lame?"
"I dunno, a gaggle of cows?"
"Dad, it's a herd of cows. Herd of cows!"
"Course I've heard of cows. Look at that gaggle over there"
Was much harder work than expected.
He can't afford to buy a whole herd of cows all at once, but he figures he can start small and work up. So he buys a dozen cows and two bulls. He puts the bulls in separate pastures, and splits the cows evenly, and waits. After a couple weeks, he realizes that most of the cows in one pasture are pregnant, but on the other side of the fence, nothing has been happening. He calls up his neighbor, Elmer, an old country feller who has been farming since he could walk. "See, there's your problem," the old man says, "That one's a bull, but the other's a steer." The city slicker says, "Well, I don't know what the difference is. Could you put it in terms I might understand better?" Elmer says, "Well..."
"One's regular and the other is de-calf."
Cow herds
My friend (L) and I (B) ended up in a pun war. She had to wake up super early to catch a flight, and this was at about one in the morning:
L: I should definitely set my alarm to 'cow' o.O
B: Haha, do it. Nothing like waking up to cows in the 'moo'rning.
L: Oh my gosh. Absolutely not.
B: Hey, but it would be so 'udder'ly hilarious!
L: I just got stabbed to death by a pun.
B: I'm just trying to 'milk' it for all it's worth...
L: If I did that, I'm not sure I'd wake up in a happy 'moo'od.
B: Just drink some 'calf'inated coffee, and you'll be fine.
L: I'd be laughing 'stock' of the town... Cows don't have a sense of humor.
B: Bull!
L: I'll just use my cowculator do determine how much sleep I'm actually going to get tonight...
B: You could wake up a little later, but you'd have to 'hoof' it to the airport.
L: Hope the weather is good, so my plane isn't 'ground'ed 'beef'.
B: That's stretching it... You should make more of an 'heifer't to come up with good puns.
L: I know when I'm getting creamed.
B: It's hard to 'steer' you in the right direction, because you keep changing topics.
L: That's udderly ridiculous. I'm just trying to mooove on.
B: And I just keep churning 'em out...
L: No, you're just spinning your 'veal's.
B: That's one of the best ones I've herd all night!
L: I thought I might've butchered it...
B: PETA might have a beef with you because of it, though...
L: Well done, well done...
B: I don't think they care leather or not you personally slaughtered it, too.
L: See now, I wish you'd stop 'grilling' me about the bad puns... You should 'patty' yourself on the back. I 'dairy' you to come up with more.
B: Well, you can certainly steak a claim for being able to hold your own...
L: I'm a natural 'barn' comedian. However, I really should quit 'yak'king and go to bed. :p
B: Okay, that's not cows... You lose. You 'cud' have done a lot better.
L: The grass is greener on the other side, okay? Also, cows live in barns, and yaks are related to cows.
B: It was still quite a stretch... Don't have a cow about it.
L: Ha anymoo. Goodnight! Also, don't die of mad cow disease.
...the father points at a bunch of cows and says "look, there's a flock of cows!" The kids stare at him and correct him, telling him that it's a herd of cows. The father turns to them and says "of course I've heard of cows, there's a whole flock of them over there!"
Farmer: whistle Come over cows.
Cows don't move
Farmer calls them over again.
Dad: I think they herd.
During my 21st birthday this year, I was on a train back from Edinburgh to London. Halfway through the journey the train came to a halt, and the driver announced that the standstill was due to a herd of cows crossing the track.
Without any hesitation I exclaimed "well, it doesn't look like we're gonna be mooooving for quite some time..."
Everyone on the carriage groaned accordingly.
We were driving past a field with cows in it. She told me, "Look! There are just two white cows in that whole herd."
I told her, "They must be the moo-nority." Then she gave me that "really?" look. Much laughter ensued.
Driving along the little one says "Look grampa! A flock of cows!" Grampa corrects him saying "Herd". The little man looks up and without missing a beat replies "No grampa. I SAW them. I didn't HEAR them!" Good stuff!
Dad: look over there. I see a bunch of cows. Me: it's called a herd of cows. Dad: of course I've heard of cows, there's a bunch of 'em right over there!
This worked once, so of course he tries to do it all the time.
Heard of cows, of course I heard of cows. I just pointed out a flock of them.
Look at that flock of cows over there
Herd of cows
Of course I've heard of cows theres a flock of them right over there.
"Herd' of cows, Dad."
"Of course I've heard of cows. Look, there's a whole flock!"
Son: "Herd of cows, Dad"
Dad: "Heard of cows? Of course I have there's a whole pack of them over there!"
Dad: “Look kids, it’s a flock of cows!” Kid: “Dad, it’s called a herd of cows.” Dad: “Heard of cows? Of course I have, there’s a whole flock of em right over there!”
Riding in a car
Dad- "hey look over there it's a flock of cows"
Kid- "you mean herd of cows"
Dad- "yeah I've heard of cows, there's a flock over there!"
Lizzy: Herd of cows, dad.
Dad: Herd of 'em? There's a whole flock over there!
A flock of cows! Herd of cows dad. Course I have herd of them! There's a flock of them right over there!
"Look son a flock of cows"
"No, it's a herd of cows"
"Course I've heard of cows, there's a flock of them right there"
"A herd of cows!!"
"Of course I heard of cows... there's a crowd of them over there!"
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.