"What?" exclaimed Kurukakadl. "I'm sorry, my translator doesn't seem to know the word, but based on the probable root words, calculates 82% chance that it means... um-"
Dr. Roke grinned.
"Whatever your translator thinks it means, it's probably right", he said. "Shit-eating. Coprophagy."
"But why?"
"Essentially, it's because they're too small for their gut to actually digest the tough fibres of the plants they eat," replied Roke. "It tends to be small animals that do it. Rabbits and the like."
"What about bigger animals?"
"If they eat those kind of plants, bigger animals have large stomachs to deal with it. There's essentially an arms race going on between the grazing animals and the grazed plants. The plants evolve to be tough so they'll be less appealing to grazers, whilst the grazers themselves evolve new ways to get around this. It's been going on for millions of years. Even herbivorous dinosaurs often had big stomachs like that. There are even fossilised dung beetles from that time, so coprophagy itself was definitely happening back then, too."
"Dung beetles?"
"Exactly what it sounds like. There are a lot of insects that do it. Even flies."
"Flies! But they're everywhere on this planet of yours!" Kurukakadl looked slightly sick.
"They lay their eggs in dung or rotten objects, so when the larvae hatch, they have a food source right there."
"That's obscene!"
Roke shrugged.
"You've read about Earth's evolutionary biology, right? This is just Chang's Third Law of Predictive Evolution in action: 'if a niche is present, it will tend to be filled'."
"I know the laws, of course," said Kurukakadl. "But that particular aspect had never occurred to-" A horrified expression crossed its face.
"What?" asked Roke.
"Humans don't do this, do they?"
"Not normally, no. We don't have a diet rich in-"
"Not normally?"
Roke laughed.
"I should have just said 'no'! There are... some people who do it."
Kurukakadl had turned a shade of pale blue.
"Look," said Roke. "Given the subject matter, maybe we should skip lunch. We can get you pancakes another time."
Lots of creatures, when hungry enough , resort to eating their own feces. Did ancient humans do this as well? Was it any sort of common place like it would be for dogs? Is it even possible for us to ever know the answer to this?
Previous | Yuletide Special | Next
---Rest---
*pit**clink**pit**clink**pit**clink* is the sound that my natural, left foot and new, bionic right make as I cross the Balcony outside Triple M.
That door is already fixed⦠The one that Fluffy and I tore through, destroying it!
I think Iβll have to add Maintenance to the, ever growing, list of staff who are getting raises after our recent run in with Terran pirates. To think that they were able to repair all the battle damage while we were voidside!
Ms. Tuun objected when I revealed how much I intended to increase her pay but⦠not as much as she did at her interview⦠there was no haggling. It seems that having a devoted friend group and a loving partner is helping buoy her estimation of her worth.
I cross the threshold and make my way to the Commonroom.
The door opens to reveal one very tired Don, one very tired Sahas, one very tired canine and four very tired Humans all in various states of repose on the furniture around the [coffee table].
There are four in the room, however, that donβt fit this mould: There is an excited Zunbeβ¦ noβ¦ Msia! Theyβve all insisted Iβm to call them by their first names or epithetsβ¦ itβs taking a little getting used to. Anyway, heβs looking out the bowward window for the moment we come into his home system. Itβs quite sweet. Apparently itβs been some time since he last saw his family and home, by means other than a holo projection.
The second and third who arenβt a picture of exhaustion are the wall-mural version of me and a roaring Fluffy, whom Iβm sat astride, charging down a mountain with the setting sun of Earth framed behind me. Msia has painted a bone crushingly heavy looking suit of armour onto me, morphed from its original, Terran appropriate, shape to fit a Rβqali body plan. On my back there is a second set of entirely ornamental wings. My right talons heft a lance, that looks like it would mass more than my body, with a red and white banner, streaming in the imaginary wind, attached just below the tapered spearhead. My beak is open and my face is fixed in a fierce, silent battlecryβ¦ I ought to find that mural very flatteringβ¦ somehow itβs a little embarrassingβ¦ Is it because that Tcakqaal looks like
... keep reading on reddit β‘Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Theyβre on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
My dog, a Pomeranian dachshund Chihuahua shih tzu mix, lately has been all about eating wood chips and small sticks. She hides them in her mouth on walks to eat when we get home. She'll also start eating them on walks and is starting to get aggressive when I take them away (never been a problem before). Any idea what's going on? Should I go to the vet? She's always been probe to eating things that aren't edible, but this is ridiculous.
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
Buenosdillas
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
"What?" exclaimed Kurukakadl. "I'm sorry, my translator doesn't seem to know the word, but based on the probable root words, calculates 82% chance that it means... um-"
Dr. Roke grinned.
"Whatever your translator thinks it means, it's probably right", he said. "Shit-eating. Coprophagy."
"But why?"
"Essentially, it's because they're too small for their gut to actually digest the tough fibres of the plants they eat," replied Roke. "It tends to be small animals that do it. Rabbits and the like."
"What about bigger animals?"
"If they eat those kind of plants, bigger animals have large stomachs to deal with it. There's essentially an arms race going on between the grazing animals and the grazed plants. The plants evolve to be tough so they'll be less appealing to grazers, whilst the grazers themselves evolve new ways to get around this. It's been going on for millions of years. Even herbivorous dinosaurs often had big stomachs like that. There are even fossilised dung beetles from that time, so coprophagy itself was definitely happening back then, too."
"Dung beetles?"
"Exactly what it sounds like. There are a lot of insects that do it. Even flies."
"Flies! But they're everywhere on this planet of yours!" Kurukakadl looked slightly sick.
"They lay their eggs in dung or rotten objects, so when the larvae hatch, they have a food source right there."
"That's obscene!"
Roke shrugged.
"You've read about Earth's evolutionary biology, right? This is just Chang's Third Law of Predictive Evolution in action: 'if a niche is present, it will tend to be filled'."
"I know the laws, of course," said Kurukakadl. "But that particular aspect had never occurred to-" A horrified expression crossed its face.
"What?" asked Roke.
"Humans don't do this, do they?"
"Not normally, no. We don't have a diet rich in-"
"Not normally?"
Roke laughed.
"I should have just said 'no'! There are... some people who do it."
Kurukakadl had turned a shade of pale blue.
"Look," said Roke. "Given the subject matter, maybe we should skip lunch. We can get you pancakes another time."
