Coordinators Puns

to Pascal. He hopes to contain Cam Newton to a one meter square area.

HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

HAND EEEEEEEEYE!!!....

I was diagnosed with bye-polar disorder

It has a bad latitude.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnd Eeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee (will always love you)

“Ataxia!”

He was an ass-assin

You planet.

Great Han dies coordination.

Wife: What time are you working until?

Wife: 5?

Me: 4:30

Wife: This conversation is oddly familiar

Me: or is it evenly familiar?

they both study Kidneys (kid knees)

I'm a medical transportation coordinator and have spent too much time listening to medical terminology. Help me.

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

A little context: I'm driving around in Yellowstone with my dad and my girlfriend. My dad went on a three week cross country ski winter camping trip when he was 17 in Yellowstone. We are currently talking about whether or not it is important to carry bear spray.

Dad: "Did I ever tell you about that time I woke up a bear on my ski trip?"

Me: "What?! No, that's crazy, what happened?"

Dad: "Well, we were skiing through an open field when we hear a rumbling from about 100 yards behind us, and we turn back and there's a huge bear, and he looks at us and starts lumbering in our direction. At the time, I was with this girl who was not a very good skier, but we were pretty sure black bears can't climb trees, so we start hustling towards the woods. So I'm pulling her along and this bear is gaining on us but we get to the closest climbable tree and the bear is still 50 yards back. Like I said, she wasn't a very good skier, or really very coordinated in general, so I help boost her up into the tree and she's up there and she's pretty safe, but this took a minute and a lot of my energy. So now the bear is only about 15 feet away, and I've still got my skis on, and, you know, back then we didn't have fancy cross country skis, we had these big metal cable bindings and leather lace up boots, so I definitely don't have time to get them off. And I'm so exhausted from dragging this girl across the field and then shoving her up into the tree that I've got almost nothing left, and the first branch is about 8 feet off the ground. But this bear is coming at me and there's nothing I can do but jump for it, so I leap and pull myself up and over the branch using everything I've got right as the bear lunges for me and bites into my ski boot. So here I am, doubled over this branch with a bear's jaws on my foot, my skis on, and not one ounce of energy left, and he's really sinking his teeth in and he's really just pulling my leg just like I'm pulling yours!"

so the events manager was coordinating with the head chef at my job (i work at a hotel).

they were discussing the three types of fish they currently had in stock and people's receptions. the general consensus regarding the first was positive. they moved on to the second which also received rave reviews. they left out discussion of the third. from my chair about 20 yards away i proclaim;

"i guess the third is a whole other fish to fry!"

audible groan from everyone in the office. success.

my dad would be proud.

I left my phone in the bathroom at my work(which is a thing I tend to do). My events coordinator came into the back with tears down her eyes, laughing hysterically, with it in hand.

"What happened?"

"You left your phone in the bathroom and I texted your dad saying this phone was left in the bathroom and to please call the restaurant."

"You shouldn't have texted my dad."

"I know! He called the restaurant and said that this was they phone number of his daughter that died three years ago by choking to death while eating here!"

"Oh my God..."

"I know! When I asked if he was serious he said "nah, she's just the ditzy Asian girl that leaves her phone everywhere.""

Q: What is Whitney Houston's favorite form of coordination?

A: HAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEEE!

So he's lecturing about the Schrodinger equations and rotational motion of particles, and how it could be easier to find a solution to the equation if the spherical coordinate system was used. He explains how the system works, and then says while clicking to the next powerpoint slide:

"Let's look at a real world example."

Cue a picture of a satellite image of Earth on the next slide and groans from all of the class.

HAANNDD EEYYEEEEEEEEEEE

Hand-Eyeeeeeeeeeeee

Hand eeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyeeeeeeeeee

Haaaaaannnd-Eyyeeeeee

HAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEE

Haaaaand eeeeeeeeeyeee!

HAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDD EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HAND EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYEEEE

Hand Eyeeeeeeee!

HAND EEEEYYYYEEEEEEEE

HANDEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE...

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE

HAND EEEEEEEEYE!

HAND-EEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE

Hand eeeeeyyyyyyyeeeee

Hand Eeeeeeeeeeeyeee

Hand eyeeeeeeeeeeee

HAND EYEEEEEEE

HAND-EEEEEYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hand eye!

Hannnnnddddd eyeeeeeeee

Hand eyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee

Hand eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee

HAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE

But pirates have eye eye coordination

Haaaaaaaaaaand eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyeeeee!

Hand Eeeeeeeyeeeeeeeeeee...