What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
The wife looked concerned when my son showed an interest in electricals at the age of 5.
He asked about the neutral wire.
I said "don't worry, its just a phase."
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︎ Dec 22 2020
The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
As far as baby chickens are concerned...
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︎ Dec 24 2020
My #1 Concern with my Bear Ranch is...
things could get grizzly.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Iβm concerned about next year...
I heard itβll be 2020 too!
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︎ Jan 01 2021
A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore
I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface
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︎ Dec 19 2020
My boyfriend told me as I walked in βhey donβt be alarmed but the toilet is smokingβ. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
I'm concerned about getting trumped in this election.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Will glass coffins be a success?
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Iβm concerned after catching my son drinking brake fluid.
He says he can stop whenever he wants.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Got fired as an electrician over safety concerns
But I think their fears were ungrounded
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︎ Jul 02 2020
The baker was concerned...
that her bread dough was not rising properly. But that was the yeast of her worries.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
There is a lot of concern amongst the flat earth brigade with regards social distancing.
Theyβre worried itβs going to push people over the edge......
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︎ Sep 06 2020
My friend was concerned his children weren't getting very far...
...which is why we built the larger trebuchet.
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︎ Sep 14 2020
*stares with confusing concern*
Her: what?
Me: ... What IS that?!
Her: what's what?
Me: there's someone on the side of your face...
Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face
Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!
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︎ Sep 22 2020
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
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︎ Aug 03 2020
What is the most concerning thing about Lyme Disease?
New cases have lately been on an uptick.
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︎ Aug 02 2020
During her first pregnancy my wife was concerned with how much labor was going to hurt.
I told her don't worry about it, he came out of me first and it felt fine.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
A wizard dad became concerned that whenever his son went to the bathroom, he wasn't giving himself privacy.
One day, the dad went to use the bathroom, thinking it was unused. There was a loud crash and he sighed, staring down at the scattered mess on the floor.
"Please, son," he said, "will you quit leaving the door a jar?"
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︎ Jul 29 2020
This this is concerning
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︎ May 23 2020
I had concerned friends message me
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︎ Feb 26 2020
Are you supposed to pull over for a funeral procession?
Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Do my dough puns make you cringe?
That's the yeast of my concerns
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︎ Dec 24 2020
A women was getting petrol at a petrol station and spilt some on her arm.
She rubbed the petrol off and drove away. While on the road, she lit a cigarette and her arm caught on fire. Concerned, she started waving her arm out the side of the car.
Amongst all this, the police pulled her over. "What am I under arrest for?" The officer replied "for having a firearm"
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︎ Dec 31 2020
You should wear your mask whenever you go to a cemetery in this pandemic.
Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Why weren't Mexicans too concerned about Trump's border wall?
They knew that they would eventually get over it.
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︎ Oct 25 2019
I'm a turnip, turned down. Concerned, but I don't carrot all. I am what I yam. What am I?
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︎ Jan 23 2020
Get it..?
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︎ Dec 24 2019
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Double pun.
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︎ Dec 20 2019
It's ok to be concerned about this virus.
I mean even the Sun has 'corona-sphere'
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︎ Mar 18 2020
I'm concerned people aren't staying in and taking the whole stay at home order seriously
Car dealerships have more cars in their lots than ever!
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Before I became a dad, I was truly concerned that I wouldn't know how to be a good father
Thankfully, turns out it's in my blood. I come from a long line of Fathers.
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︎ Dec 18 2018
Did you guys hear about AT&T and Verizon dropping out of an upcoming conference due to corona virus concerns?
Itβs probably a good thing considering theyβre both well-known carriers.
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︎ Feb 24 2020
It was a it concerning that the zoo had such a low fence for the Bobcat exhibit. We knew we were safe when we realized it was distracted by the Deere next door.
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︎ Oct 26 2019
My buddy was concerned about his chicken crossing the road.
I said his concerns are poultry.
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︎ Mar 04 2020
I signed up for my companyβs 401k but I have one concern
Iβm not sure I can run that far
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Really excited to be going to this rock concert, I'd love to crowdsurf but I'm slightly concerned
I might get a bit carried away.
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︎ Jan 27 2020
Why was the new butt plug concerned about the used butt plug?
Because it had seen some shit.
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︎ Jan 03 2020
There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...
but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
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︎ Jul 22 2019
The doctor looked at me with a concerned look on his face and rasped, "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards."
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︎ Jul 19 2019
International concerns
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︎ May 08 2019
Neurologist said my brain was perfect!
He said it looked like it had never been used!
(True story, that. Meaning that he said it. I'm guessing it's something he enjoys saying to people who he doesn't have to give bad or concerning news to.)
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︎ Nov 11 2020
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