What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?

Elongate

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thatyougoon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
The wife looked concerned when my son showed an interest in electricals at the age of 5.

He asked about the neutral wire.

I said "don't worry, its just a phase."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d3adeyeduck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop.

The steaks were high.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
As far as baby chickens are concerned...

Talk is cheep

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My #1 Concern with my Bear Ranch is...

things could get grizzly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drlolbl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m concerned about next year...

I heard it’ll be 2020 too!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dweebken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore

I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend told me as I walked in β€œhey don’t be alarmed but the toilet is smoking”. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slebsta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brutalproduct
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned about getting trumped in this election.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/horrorhoney
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m concerned after catching my son drinking brake fluid.

He says he can stop whenever he wants.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Got fired as an electrician over safety concerns

But I think their fears were ungrounded

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The baker was concerned...

that her bread dough was not rising properly. But that was the yeast of her worries.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
There is a lot of concern amongst the flat earth brigade with regards social distancing.

They’re worried it’s going to push people over the edge......

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrP8978
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was concerned his children weren't getting very far...

...which is why we built the larger trebuchet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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*stares with confusing concern*

Her: what?

Me: ... What IS that?!

Her: what's what?

Me: there's someone on the side of your face...

Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face

Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejohnblog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most concerning thing about Lyme Disease?

New cases have lately been on an uptick.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FernandoLH95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
During her first pregnancy my wife was concerned with how much labor was going to hurt.

I told her don't worry about it, he came out of me first and it felt fine.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anynamethatworks
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A wizard dad became concerned that whenever his son went to the bathroom, he wasn't giving himself privacy.

One day, the dad went to use the bathroom, thinking it was unused. There was a loud crash and he sighed, staring down at the scattered mess on the floor.

"Please, son," he said, "will you quit leaving the door a jar?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
This this is concerning
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johndeerdrew
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I had concerned friends message me
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/armpittattoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Are you supposed to pull over for a funeral procession?

Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Do my dough puns make you cringe?

That's the yeast of my concerns

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sajinib
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A women was getting petrol at a petrol station and spilt some on her arm.

She rubbed the petrol off and drove away. While on the road, she lit a cigarette and her arm caught on fire. Concerned, she started waving her arm out the side of the car.

Amongst all this, the police pulled her over. "What am I under arrest for?" The officer replied "for having a firearm"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
You should wear your mask whenever you go to a cemetery in this pandemic.

Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/25BicsOnMyBureau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why weren't Mexicans too concerned about Trump's border wall?

They knew that they would eventually get over it.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weaponG
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a turnip, turned down. Concerned, but I don't carrot all. I am what I yam. What am I?

Beets me

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DCCXXVIII
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Get it..?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfoster14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.

They were caws for concern.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eruditeredditor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Double pun.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemaholicCreeper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
It's ok to be concerned about this virus.

I mean even the Sun has 'corona-sphere'

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned people aren't staying in and taking the whole stay at home order seriously

Car dealerships have more cars in their lots than ever!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EinHeldenle_Ben
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Before I became a dad, I was truly concerned that I wouldn't know how to be a good father

Thankfully, turns out it's in my blood. I come from a long line of Fathers.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about AT&T and Verizon dropping out of an upcoming conference due to corona virus concerns?

It’s probably a good thing considering they’re both well-known carriers.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dizmodo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
It was a it concerning that the zoo had such a low fence for the Bobcat exhibit. We knew we were safe when we realized it was distracted by the Deere next door.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bettaa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy was concerned about his chicken crossing the road.

I said his concerns are poultry.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuteScrap
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I signed up for my company’s 401k but I have one concern

I’m not sure I can run that far

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Really excited to be going to this rock concert, I'd love to crowdsurf but I'm slightly concerned

I might get a bit carried away.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the new butt plug concerned about the used butt plug?

Because it had seen some shit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_UR_HANDBRA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...

but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeWunderY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
The doctor looked at me with a concerned look on his face and rasped, "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards."

I screamed, "AND!?"

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
International concerns
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KevlarYarmulke
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Neurologist said my brain was perfect!

He said it looked like it had never been used!

(True story, that. Meaning that he said it. I'm guessing it's something he enjoys saying to people who he doesn't have to give bad or concerning news to.)

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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