β€œDad, how do we make orange juice from the concentrate?” -5yo

β€œWe use 3 cans of water to distract it.”

β€œWhat?”

β€œYa it should lose focus soon enough.”

the eye rolls from my partner were fantastic.

This happened tonight. We were talking about β€œconcentrate” because they read me silly jokes from their school milk cartons like β€œwhy does X stare at the can of OJ? Because it says β€˜concentrate’.” So we were talking about what the word meant.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/8bagels
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Orange Jews 100% concentrate
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Don’t you hate that the carton of orange juice says concentrate

But never says for how long.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I recommend that you all use herb concentrates from now on.

Thyme is of the essence after all.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drondol
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a boat that really concentrates on a task?

Laser-focused.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alienwars
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
I just drank concentrate by mistake...

I guess that'll teach me for not paying attention.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBodaciousPie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife hit me on the head with a bottle of Concentrated Omega-3 capsules this morning.

I'm okay though.....it was just a super fish oil wound.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahmaybe2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
So I used to work at an orange juice factory...

But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimaryStrict
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
- I once got fired from a canned juice company.
  • I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.
πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Salamander7965
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the answer for climate change?

I don’t know but we’re getting warmer

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/windowlicker1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My job application was rejected by a juice company...

I shouldn’t have mentioned my solid experience.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I watched a TV programme about the House of Lords last week. But I wasn’t really concentrating so I’m going to have to watch it again.

That’ll be the Peer review.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Concentrated orange juice
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PleaseStabMe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
In which state, in America, there's the highest concentration of weebs?

Ohio

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandoMazed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t groups of prisoners be described with Venn diagrams?

Because all the circles are concentric.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I was at the beach today and there was a group of pelicans not doing anything. I concentrated hard on one pelican and suddenly if flew out to the water, snagged a fish in his bill and flew back to shore. "Wow", I thought to myself..

Pelikinesis is a real thing.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I like my coffee CONCENTRATED. Kill me.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theEndWasShit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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Scientists finally had success breeding a donkey and a coyote!

They named it Don Quixote.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisisbensmith
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...

Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bballcj2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a summer camp that helps people with ADHD?

A concentration camp.

I'll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mosh83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A Whale's driving force is 100 percent concentrated power of krill
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycatatemyphone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.

I need to concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateahoj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Catastrophic pun
πŸ‘︎ 802
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PresidentCrabo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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I want to create a game centered around concentric circles...

I just don't know who my target audience would be.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corban
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I once saw a guy staring at a can of orange juice, and when I asked him why he was doing that,

he said, "because it says 'concentrate' on the can."

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agsederq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Some punny jobs

WORKING ON A JOB

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned I just couldn’t concentrate. . Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. . After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. . Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. . I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. . I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard. . My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy. . I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience. . Next was a job in a shoe factory; but it just wasn’t the right fit. . I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. . I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. . I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. . After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it. . My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TTMOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a Science Fair project on how music effects concentration and memory. Can any of you guys help me think of a punny or clever title?

If there's anything I'm terrible at, it's coming up with puns. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MurderousPaper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2013
🚨︎ report
100% Concentrated Baller imgur.com/fOhgCia
πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seinfeld_four
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2014
🚨︎ report
What is a very concentrated Harrison?

Ford Focus

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejazzroot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.

Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anam_Cara
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to send my son to a camp to help with his ADHD

They call it a concentration camp

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Who led the Jewish people across a semi-permeable membrane?

Os-Moses.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Where should children with ADHD be sent to for therapy?

Concentration camps.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
From a young age I wanted to play guitar very badly.

After decades of dedicated and concentrated practice, I finally achieved my goal.

I can play guitar very badly.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Quite an acidic burn
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confluencer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
🚨︎ report
This juice.
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fromanny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...

Just couldn't concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked, "What's wrong honey?" I sighed, "I’m just not having much luck with jobs lately."

"I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory, wasn’t suited to be a tailor, the muffler factory was just exhausting, couldn’t cut it as barber, didn’t have the patience to be a doctor, didn’t fit in the shoe factory, pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn’t see any future as a historian!"

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to work at the orange juice factory..

I got fired because I couldn't concentrate...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VentilatedEgg
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the frozen orange juice factory today.

I just couldn’t concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Popepepe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I haven't had much success with jobs lately

I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn’t suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn’t cut it as barber; didn’t have the patience to be a doctor; didn’t fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn’t see any future as a historian. I'm going to look into becoming an optometrist. We'll see.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gulag for people with ADHD?

A concentration camp

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/99-bottlesofbeer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I got fired from the orange juice factory because

I couldn't concentrate

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theMasterDerpy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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