Thanks. That concludes the Mike check.
I said "yeah its pretty ironic"
None, they just shoot the room for being black
My name is Stephen… 😔
I am a 57 yr old apprentice electrician currently in school. My instructor was explaining an electronic circuit and then told us it was an "ON-DELAY" timer. Without hesitation, i yelled out "Does it work faster in Mexico?" I immediately received 24 groans and eye rolls from my classmates(all much younger than myself). I only wish a had a mic to drop!!
EDIT:Thanks for the awards, almost as good as the groans and eyerolls!!
In fact it's Dublin.
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
I think she’s full of crap.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Don't forget the staple: "Sheesh, everybody and their mother is out here today!"
Sadly, he pasta way :(
"Just put 24 carrots in it!"
I’m not going to stand for it.
I’ve asked lots of people but nobody seems to know.
I just couldn’t bay leaf my eyes
Heard mentality
May he restaurant in peace
When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more..." "Nonsense, darling," I replied "you just cook better now."
It's like he's living under Iraq.
A decomposer
You smack the beejesus out of them.
Dad: "Sure, but the dining room would probably be more comfortable."
They’re De Kois.
Spring
Hey, w.
…all because of those damn security cameras.
Poached
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Queue
Don't worry though, he's 0K
EDIT: Y'all need to chill with the puns 🤣
I just got a job as an archeologist.
The odds were against me.
Me: 'Vintage port, preferably a Taylor's 1985'
Commenter: ''And should it be drunk when wearing one's Rolex or one's Omega?'*
Me: 'Ok, fine, any port in a storm will do.'
*Taylor's 1985 is an expensive port, but OP asked for the best, not the most reasonable: https://imgur.com/a/QtdpTzL
Yolkswagen
Edit: Just discovered this subreddit and I’m already dying of laughter
