Some more classic Reddit comment puns
I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
What do you call a magician who loses his magic?
Handing this off to r/historymemes for a Belgian Congo comment chain
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a “b” comes after it!
Those are the he only for comments, that was kinda suprising
I just found out that the guy who stole my diary died yesterday.
My thoughts are with his family.
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C. Everyone said he was crazy
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
What is the smelliest kind of ox?
Dr. Stone comment section at its finest
https://preview.redd.it/ujv35rwei5m61.png?width=715&format=png&auto=webp&s=7a7478572fc765d48ca4306bc44262caf8027e8b
I dream to be this commenter one day.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches?
Cuz then it would be a foot
Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...
....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.
A technique that has been used for decades
A communism joke isn’t funny
I laughed for a while at this
I was researching about Atheism
Turns out it's a non-prophet organization
My dad constantly tells me I'll never amount to anything because I always procrastinate.
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
Sick of everyone’s swiney comments about my ring
OP's post is for context but the comments are gold
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
Ebay is so useless
I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches
"What’s your name, son?"
The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."
"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.
The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
I confronted a mime today.
He did unspeakable things.
Thank you for the awards. You made my day 😃
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments
That’s just unpresidented
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Not the greatest,brought out a chuckle
My son asked me "Why are bananas such popular fruits?". I replied
"Because they have a peel".
Boss: How's that new glue?
When my wife found me playing with my son’s train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks....
"Do you sell flop flops?"
On the news there was a report of a cheese factory exploding in France.
What's a chocolate bars preferred gender pronoun?
I’ve lost count of the times I forgot
What do call a bike trail that shows no empathy.
I've had the most emotional cake day ever
Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
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