Dad, what’s a commentator?
Oh, just a regular old potato.
We were watching the news when the commentator said that "several Brazilian skydivers died when their parachutes failed"...
My son burst into tears. I explained, "yes, buddy, it's sad, but they knew what they were getting into". My son replied, "I know, but it's still so sad. I mean, how many are in a brazliian? Is more than a million?"
Commentator
Everytime someone is announcing a football game or the like, my dad says something along the lines of,
"He's an ok commentator, but he's no royal spud!"
He then procedes to grin with that self-pleased dad smile.
Commentator
Situation: we're playing cards and Tyler starts doing a play by play of what's happening so my sister says, "what are you a commentator?" Then my dad goes, "not like a unique vegetable?" ( common tater)
I'm surprised Al Rocker wasn't a guest commentator at tonights fight....
After all, he does predict May weather.
Some more classic Reddit comment puns
The comments is full of puns like this one
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun.
Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years.
I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus
but graphing is where I draw the line
Best jokes are always in the comments..
I told my parents I was bisexual
My dad asked, "so you like both men and women?"
I responded with, "yeah, but I'm not seeing anyone right now"
He said, "so you must be on stand-bi"
My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.
At least he won't turn over in his grave.
No more Suez Canal jokes!
I saw a 1000 year old oil stain
It was from ancient Greece
I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
My girlfriend is a square root of -100
Perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
What do you call a magician who loses his magic?
Handing this off to r/historymemes for a Belgian Congo comment chain
Where do you learn how to make ice cream?
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a “b” comes after it!
My daughter told me nothing rhymes with orange. I told her she’s wrong.
Nothing and orange have completely different ending sounds.
Those are the he only for comments, that was kinda suprising
I was commenting on how everyone at my cousin's science academy commencement looked like cylinders.
Since they're all... graduated.
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
I just found out that the guy who stole my diary died yesterday.
My thoughts are with his family.
A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C. Everyone said he was crazy
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
I dream to be this commenter one day.
What is the smelliest kind of ox?
What's blue and not very heavy?
Dr. Stone comment section at its finest
https://preview.redd.it/ujv35rwei5m61.png?width=715&format=png&auto=webp&s=7a7478572fc765d48ca4306bc44262caf8027e8b
Guys, make your woman feel special. Place a framed photo of her in the kitchen...
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...
....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.
A technique that has been used for decades
A communism joke isn’t funny
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches?
Cuz then it would be a foot
I was researching about Atheism
Turns out it's a non-prophet organization
Sick of everyone’s swiney comments about my ring
I laughed for a while at this
My dad constantly tells me I'll never amount to anything because I always procrastinate.
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
If you want to weigh a whale you take it to a whale weigh station. So where do you go if you want to weigh a pie?
Somewheeere over the rainbow...
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
OP's post is for context but the comments are gold
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