A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
Like you didn't see this coming!
From my girlfriends daughter. A classic I’m so proud of her. She’s sees a road work ahead sign coming up on side of the road.
She proudly announces “ well if it doesn’t we are all dead”. Hahahaha
I come from a family of magicians.
The punchline always come before the joke
What is the worst part about time travel jokes?
What do you call a Boomerang that doesn’t come back.
What do you call an old, grumpy Avatar that comes back and ruins the economy every time you send him away?
I can hear music coming out of my printer...
I think the paper's jamming.
What happens when you die and come back as a cowboy?
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
What comes before part B?
Coming soon to a theater near you
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a “b” comes after it!
I was trying come up with a series of jokes about Legos
But I never managed to put a set together.
I asked my friend to come to the gym with me. He said he was busy for the next 7 days....
Bit of a week excuse if you ask me.
Where do cows farts come from ?
Why did the ghost keep coming back to the library?
He went through the books too quickly
Coming up with names for periods of time is really tiring.
The people who originally did it tried to figure out a word for a 24 hour period until sunset.
Then they just gave up and called it a day.
I don’t hate leg day..
It’s the two days after I can’t stand!!
What's something you should never say to a blind girlfriend?
I think we should see other people.
The hardest part for someone when coming out
Saying it with a straight face
Every time I go to the liquor store, a dude comes out of nowhere to give me advice on what to buy.
He’s my spirit guide.
Edit: Thanks guys.
You’ll do a lot of dumb things in your youth, son, and that’s okay, because most of the consequences won’t follow you into adulthood. But you know what will always come back to haunt you?
What animal comes after 10?
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
What did Tarzan say when he saw elephants coming over the hill?
"Here come the elephants coming over the hill"
I’m reading a horror story in Braille, something bad is going to happen
I can feel it
Credits- u/Wyzeman3283
Yet another from my 10 year old: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
What comes after the USA?
I thought all the trees were broken when they lost their leaves this winter. They're starting to come back now though.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.
There’s two old men sitting on their front porch when a dog comes up and starts licking it’s junk
One of the old men goes, man I wish I could do that.
The other says, you can’t do that. That dog’ll bite you.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing...
But this is as close as I could get.
In laughter the 'L' comes first.
The rest of the letters comes 'aughter' it.
I named my dog "Happy New Year"
when I call him in every night, the neighbors think I've lost my mind
Where do bubble wraps come from?
Don't know. It popped out of nowhere.
It took me over 6 months to come up with a joke about calendars and clocks.
Found at my local Trader Joe’s.... I mean come on... you laughed... Right?!
I need help coming up with “bear” puns for a school project
Trying to think these up has been unbearable
Where do cow farts come from?
If I die and come back as a cowboy...
It would be reintarnation
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
