Because with great powers comes great response ability
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
I never saw him again
The sass-quatch
My wife and I were sitting by one of the canals in my city when a duck came flying towards us. I shouted "Duck" as it flew close over our heads and was really please with myself. My wife doesn't even smile so I ask if she didn't think it was funny. Her reply: "I guess it went over my head"
I invited an old friend to digital coffee and they ask what digital coffee tastes like...i need a comeback/pun!
I wonder about things like the average age of all of us here; How many of us were raised by dads/people with this humor? How many are dads themselves? Grandpas or brand new fathers? Everyone is welcome, of course! I love the community here & thought this might be interesting.
One’s a witch’s bit and the other is a bitch’s wit.
Ya take away it's chair.
She asked me 'what's your greatest dad joke?'
I replied, 'what you see in the mirror '
None, they sit in the dark and cry
My gf: What word doesn’t make sense?
Me: Idk you tell me
My gf: esnes
Me: But.. it does make sense
They made me retire because I got out of hand.
Ok, boomerang.
but stranger things have happened.
But he made a comeback.
No one in Dubai likes the Flintstones, but the folks in Abu Dhabi do!
Getting sonburned
Whatever you like, he won’t come to you.
But I’m sure it was a-maize-zing
How shallow is that?!
That's just a ruff estimate.
I was crucified for it by the crowd.
I can't tell you how angry I am.
My daughter: Really, dad, you're so dramatic!
Me: (quietly, through clenched teeth) If I'm too dramatic....THEN. GOD. HELP. US. ALL...
I bet none of the ladies are going to Wuhan
Hey, Europe! (hey you're up)
It’s so much better than fatherhat. Covers your ears too!
A fair amount.
Did you hear about reincarnation? I heard it’s making a comeback.
"Ayyyy!"
"B!"
"See?"
And I know most of you here can do better than my,
While stiff arming their face, "I don't wanna seeeeee yo food."
Do you get it? Do ya, cause it's about turning the joke back... You get it right?
Anyway, help a guy increase his dadjoke street cred with his kiddo and his lunchroom hecklers.
"It's okay, he didn't drink much!"
We have to talk about this shit between us
As part of my job (I'm a cashier) I'm required to ask people how everything was. Almost every Dad says the exact same thing: "terrible". They then stare at me to see my reaction. When I laugh it off, they say "but what if I Had been serious?" In a very condescending way and make me feel bad for laughing. What I usually do is say "You're not being serious are you?" They say no with a little laugh and an awkward silence follows.
My friends suggested I take my acting to the next level and act genuinely concerned, turning the situation around. But I think there's a funnier solution. Any help?
Another thing: Our food rocks. There's no way they're being serious.
Because with great power comes great response ability.
Because with great power comes great response ability.
Because, with great power comes great response ability
Because... with great power comes great response ability!
Because with great power comes with great response ability.
Because with great power comes great response ability
Because with great power comes great response abilities
