I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer

Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/middleraged
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...

[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)

Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/travellingby
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.

... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weekend833
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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Colon Cancer Screening
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RyanJT324
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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r/funny sent me here... My dad had surgery this morning to remove a cancerous section of his colon. He's still got his sense of humor. (X-post from r/funny) imgur.com/ZlOIj9q
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sigogglin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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I used to bicycle to work and was never once late.

Unfortunately, after my bout with colon cancer, that ended. It's hard to be punctual with only a semi-colon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fartbatman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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The stars are bright

My dad is a Navy Vietnam vet who is about to be a retired GM electrical engineer. He is retiring against his will because he has had three strokes, colon cancer, a pulmonary embolism, necrotic esophagus, renal failure, pneumonia, basically a medical shitstorm and he survived it all. In the process, he has lost a lot of memory and quite a bit of his cognitive abilities and furthermore, his balance. However, when I took out the trash tonight at nearly half past ten, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the stars looked outside tonight. So upon returning, I told my mom and dad "The stars sure are bright tonight. They look amazing." To which my dad then asked, "You know why they're so bright, right?" Now I'm an amateur astronomer. Hell, my first and only telescope was inherited to me by my mother who got it from her father. So knowing its winter and I live in Michigan, I tell my father, "Because its so cold and dry, the star light isn't blocked as much?" His reply; "No. Its because the sun went down. So now its darker outside." Dad: 1. Me: -5.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hyperbattleship
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
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Everyone, I would like you to meat my dad.

I was telling my dad that there is new evidence that links processed meats to colon cancer. I told him, "the World Health Organization-"

"Who?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Southruss000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
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My dad dadjoked me while censoring himself.

I was on the phone with my dad just now, and he was talking about his co-worker that had colon cancer. Not the regular colon cancer that's deep in the colon where you get tested for it and have surgery, but right there on the delivery end. The kind where it hurts when you sit down or when you go to poop.

He said it was a pain in the butt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yourfriendme
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2014
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