Pets, puns and dictators

Help wanted from r/puns!

I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.

My ideas so far:

Adolf Kitler

Chairman miaow

Kitty Amin

Ho chi(huahua) Min

Robert Pugabi

Colonel Catdafi

Saddam Hussaint Bernard

Benito Pussolini

Fidel Catstro

I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddallthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection...

She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
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I asked Rick Astley if I can borrow his Disney movie collection.

He told me "You can borrow any movie in my collection but I'm never gonna give you Up."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0wnVoteMe_PLZ
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Pixar collection, EXCEPT one

He's never gonna give you "Up"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I knew someone who collected watches. They'd link the watches all together into a sort of belt.

I thought it was a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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I like to collect records

It’s my decision and that’s vinyl!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmmrekcd
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Notable Cats Enamel Pin Collection
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlphaDon
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks her. "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.

She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Delighted to say I've finally got a new job installing mirrors!

Nothing fancy, but was something I could always see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-am-Just-Sam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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I’m going to start collecting highlighters.

Mark my words!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeastontheFalln
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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I want to be buried with my record collection.

That would be my vinyl resting place.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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The content of a person's audiobook collection...

... speaks volumes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/attanai
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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What does Reese Witherspoon call her gun collection?

Reese’s Pieces

πŸ‘︎ 473
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewleckrone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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I own a pristine collection of candy canes...

they're all in mint condition!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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A collection of physical dadjokes

A collection of physical dad-jokes (click the link).

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leon_Art
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Straight from my 6 yr old.

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

Dino-snore.

I ugly laughed at this and she thought it was the best.

Edit: wow, thanks for the awards! I told my daughter she got 500 likes and she started dancing. Thank you!

πŸ‘︎ 553
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianX09
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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I don't understand why my friends hate my lava lamp collection...

I think it's pretty hot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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What do you call a group of ravens trying bring crows together?

A conspiracy to commit murder.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bored_wolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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My wife has been cold to me lately, so I figured a hobby might make her more receptive to my advances. I figured why not stamp collecting? Well, I learned an important lesson...

Philately will get you nowhere

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.

Otherwise, you just have to make dew.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lookinatspam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Rick Astley has a massive movie collection and will let you borrow all but one

He’s never going to give you up His movie collection

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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My collection of irreplaceable French movies was stolen.

C'est la D vie D

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrgraff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....

When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwele_music
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BedHeadBread
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Rick Astley doesn't mind giving away his Disney movies collection...

But he's still never gonna give you Up. Especially remastered in 4k.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.

He had loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigscarydaniel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Why should you never marry someone that likes collecting weird coins

They have no common cents

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtyj
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...

Close, but no Seger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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A friend of mine has starting collecting mirrors

Personally, I don't know what he sees in them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xholdsteadyx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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I inherited my dad's collection of shallow flat receptacles with a raised edge, used for carrying, holding, or displaying articles.

I feel betrayed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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My son told me he wanted to start a change collection.

I told him that makes a lot of cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/racismisgay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?

He didn't have a lot of common cents.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d3hall
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...

It's a mootual fund.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?

They're all in mint condition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/culculain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What type of portal collects things?

An aggregate

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaphpath
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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I'm obsessed with collecting old Beatles records. My friends say I need help..

..but I've already got that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Button_FC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries

They were free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/postymcpostface21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I sold my vacuum today.

Why?

It was collecting dust.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seadal611
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Whether you use your vacuum cleaner daily or not at all...

It's always going to collect dust.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hanya_124
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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I have started collecting old settees....

I've got 12 sofa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I decided to sell my vacuum...

It was only collecting dust.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameemo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.

So I have to keep them in the shed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I need a collection of these
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Did you know...

In Las Vegas there are more Catholic churches than casinos? Not surprisingly, many Sunday worshippers will give casino chips instead of cash when the offering plate is passed around. Since the churches get chips from so many different casinos, they have devised a way to collect the offerings. They send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection

the judge says: "First offender" The woman replies: "No, first a Gibson, the a Fender"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection

The judge asked her, β€œfirst offender” β€œNo,” she says β€œfirst a Gibson then a Fender

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I knew a guy who collected watches

He would link them all together into a sort of belt β€” I thought it was a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetavator
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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