My friend had coiled pieces of metal inserted into her legs to help her run faster...

Plus they gave her a spring in her step!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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A fireman was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon, with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle...

The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and cat.

"That sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman said with admiration.

"Thanks!" the girl replied.

The fireman looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

The fireman said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
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I built a vodka still that uses an electromagnetic heating coil...

I call it proof by induction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimurHasWords
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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I love those musical Tesla coils

They're great at conducting electricity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoftCriticTy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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If I found my daughter wanted to wear coils like the Padaung women...

...I would ring her neck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after a tight coil of metal?

Except for winter, summer and autumn...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
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With all the cold weather we're having this March, I'm happy that ...

https://i.imgur.com/9L4InP9.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boostedit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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What do you call it when a Tesla crashes and wraps itself around a telephone pole?

A Tesla Coil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrankDaTank787
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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xkcd 1378 is a dadjoke

http://xkcd.com/1378/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/searingsky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2014
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My humor became a dad last night.

I was reading a news story about a teacher who was burning messages into his students' arms with a Tesla coil. I shared the story on FB, saying that it was all okay, because he paid them a Nikola piece for their troubles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calingaladha
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2015
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A scientist and his assistant

A scientist and his assistant are in the lab. In front of them is a tank with two fish swimming around. the scientist says to his assistant, "Go into the specimen room and get two more fish."

So the assistant grabs a cart, goes across the hall to the specimen room, puts in his access code on the number panel, pushes the cart in, picks up two fish bowls, each with a fish swimming around, and places them in the cart.

Then he pushes the cart back across the hall into the lab, checking to make sure the door to the specimen room shuts behind him, brings the cart in.

The scientist says, "Pour each fish into the tank with the other two."

So the assistant pushes the cart right next to the tank, picks up each bowl and pours them into the tank with the other fish "

The scientist says, "Now go get some electrical wire out of the storage room."

So the assistant leaves the lab, walks down the hall to the storage room, puts in his access code, grabs a coil of copper wire, marks how much he took on the inventory sign off sheet, leaves the storage room, and locks the door behind him.

So he walks back into the lab with the wire, and the scientist says, "Cut two pieces, each about four feet and place one end of each in the tank."

So the assistant unwraps about eight feet of the copper wire, cuts it in two pieces, and bends one end of each length so they hang on the edge of the tank with six inches into the water.

Then the scientist says, " Now plug each piece of copper wire into that electrical outlet and electrocute the fish "

And the assistant says, "Four watt porpoise?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redremnant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2014
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