How dare they make someone else clean that up
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasbett311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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The first company to rename their dinner rolls "gravy mops" is really going to clean up.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OtakuShogun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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What do volunteers clean up outside of libraries?

Literature.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squasher04
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the Mandalorian use to clean up Baby Yoda's messes?

He uses Bounty [a paper towel brand in the US]

I'm very proud--my teenage son just came up with this one, though I see a few variations when searching through past dad jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tampaillini
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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What's the best way to clean up fake shit?

Sham Poo

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadA55Name
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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This one, cleans up.
πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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What do you call it when the grocer fails to clean up a mess in the store?

A wrecked aisle dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œSon, go clean the attic.” β€œBut dad, theres asbestos up there!”

β€œJust clean it as-best-os you can.”

Source: my dad

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
This looks like it's gonna be a huge pane to clean up.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOBquonjin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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At least they don’t have to clean it up
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cas_chaoticstar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do parents always have to clean up after their kids?

They are their legal custodians.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperScopeSix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When you partied too hard last night, now you gotta clean up the litter the next morning
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fengyuseah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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What do you use to clean up a spill in space?

A vacuum cleaner.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/launchedcar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
My child was setting up a science homework project on the dinner table. I swiped the table clean and threw the table outside. He asked "what was that for?"

I said, it's a periodic table. You cant use it right now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InspectorBugNuts
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a BIOS that cleans up after itself?

A ROMba

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beaverinablender
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do rappers use to clean up leaves?

A Drake!

*Not my joke, I asked my Amazon Alexa to tell me a joke and this is what she said. This deserves some exposure imo :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masqueblue
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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Why don't blind people clean up after their guide dogs?

Because they can't see shit!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RudigherJones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Speaking of Jay-Z, B asked him to clean up his video games. When she came back, she was pretty ticked off.

"What's wrong?" "I can see your Halo"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My kid peed on the floor, screamed for me to clean it up

and I thought to myself, "oh kid urine trouble now".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisThatSauce
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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I cook and clean for my family on the condition that they put up with my terrible puns...

...it's the dadliest catch.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phredgreen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
🚨︎ report
How do Australians clean up after a poop?

Bidet, mate!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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How do you clean up water spilled during a baptism?

With papal towels.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roarlord
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
🚨︎ report
How did the astronaut clean up the space debris?

With a vacuum cleaner.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pacos-ego
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report

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