Choking Puns, STAT!

A female friend of mine has a sexual fantasy of being choked during sex (which she exposed during a drunken... "moment"), I am a bad person and find great pleasure in exploiting this via subtle public humiliation! SO, what choking puns have we got to offer?! I'd think of my own but I go to say them and I just choke...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeow91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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*insert witty choking pun*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moist_Bricks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Pointless Criticisms of the First Darth Vader Scene [ROGUE ONE SPOILERS]

I know it seems like being critical of a movie everyone loves is just a way to be contrarian, click-baity and a buzzkill, so I tried to at least keep this analysis from being mean spirited. I saw the movie once and these are just the random thoughts that bounced around my head during this scene.

I found everything about the first Darth Vader scene in 'Rogue One' to be weird. First off, it's the only location that doesn't get a title card. Which is weird because it's supposed to be Mustafar, but the planet looks different. It's a more realistic volcanic rock planet and not covered in a layer of liquid hot magma anymore. It might be silly, but this is the franchise that needed people to know that Jakku and Tatooine were different places, even though it makes no difference.

So that's already off, then so is Vader's decision to live there. I get that the castle is a nod to McQuarrie artwork, but that was drawn long before even Episode 3 and therefore predates the decision to have Anakin be burned by lava. If I was in Vader's shiny shoes and had lost most of my body to lava, I'd have issues being around it ever again. (The dude has issues with sand) And if I had lost most of my body to lava, and for the sake of argument decided to live on planet made of it anyway, I'd put up some handrails on the big circle platform in the center of my odd lava castle. And I think this goes beyond the joke about Star Wars having no handrails because; what is this room for? It's an obvious call back to star wars-y locations (ex: carbonite freezing chamber/ the ever increasingly big doors of Jabba's palace) but it's just a circle platform above a pool of lava. It's too small to be a landing platform. There's no furniture or anything stored in it. I dunno, maybe it's a sun room when you open the windows all the way. Maybe Vader likes to take in the sunset through his glowing red robot eyes, and feel the wind on his skin through his thick leather bodysuit.

On the subject of Vader's red eyes: Why are they red? When making 'A New Hope' The goal was to tint his eyes black as dark as possible, but when some light got in you could accidentally see some of the actor's skin which made the eyes look [kiiiinda red, but actually more brown] (http://i.imgur.com/lEvaCSj.jpg). In 'Rog

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrStevenRichter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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Does anyone think that Vader's interactions were too candid?

I mean he used a damn CHOKING PUN FOR GOD SAKES! This is a psychopathic killer with no remorse, not a stand up comedian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmericanKamikaze
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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I went to a petting zoo. When I was feeding the sheep, one began to choke.

So I laid him on his back and adminstered SheePR.

He survived, but he was in pretty ba-aa-aa-ad shape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cocoa_Knollwood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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[Highlights] Aaron Donald attempts to choke out a Cardinal twitter.com/twdtv1/status…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icy-Bonus163
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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Let me choke my coworker for helping v.redd.it/hm0tgp4z3ec81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlameOfGod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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choke
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4hm3r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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choke me rule
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freya_The_Goddess
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Sergeant chokes female officer who was trying to stop him from pepper spraying handcuffed suspect in back of patrol car [Police released video with audio redacted] v.redd.it/7q7e0u26gub81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carche69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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One of my favorite scene due to how the gang stares at frank as he chokes, showing their colors. v.redd.it/jsscqulhwuc81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ongo-Gablogian--
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Whenever I tell people I have a ball python, they're like "why?? Isn't he gonna choke you to death?" Yes, absolutely. My little 3-foot doofus is definitely strong enough to crush my esophagus.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnakeLuvr1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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A choke train outbreak in Huntington Beach, CA (and there goes my beer) v.redd.it/kmg3tsv76y981
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NateSwank
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2022
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WATCH: Florida cop chokes female colleague who tried to de-escalate Black man's arrest rawstory.com/police-bruta…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncommonidiots
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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16 years since the first Von Flue choke in the UFC. He never saw it coming. v.redd.it/wuls0xxgj5c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crawlspeed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsabeautClark44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Fan getting escorted from the stands.. struggles with cop and a fan chokes out the guy getting arrested. Slept on the floor . Girl gets escorted out too. v.redd.it/lhggmvb4pxa81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gameenders
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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Tyler1 chokes attempting to get the only penta of his support challenge clips.twitch.tv/TameAmazi…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gandalf45435
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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The "first" Von Flue choke? UFC commentators can't figure it out v.redd.it/wuls0xxgj5c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EveryGodDamnDay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Featherweight Champ Alexander Volkanovski escapes the triangle choke of Brian Ortega and proceeds to almost finish the fight via ground and pound gfycat.com/rarequerulousa…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomuser50k
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2022
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Extremist Christian Nationalist pastor from the pulpit describes how in a previous political meeting with a political opponent he wanted to 'choke her' and how his brother could with 'one blow to the face knock her out cold'. Then he speaks in tongues. v.redd.it/hgmjwf4ik1e81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobbingYouBlind
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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Cambridge Uni rugby team meeting, lad turns up late, made to hit pads as punishment. Coach chokes him out when he’s not looking, the lad gets up and fills him in. Meeting carries on. v.redd.it/donyey2nogb81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthij
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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Which Packers playoff choke was your favorite?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElectrosMilkshake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Tony Ferguson rocks Mike Rio and submits him with a D'Arce choke gfycat.com/colossalsleepy…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HessuCS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2022
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My girlfriend said she'd choke me with armoured gloves.

As if I'm gauntlet that happen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2021
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Vicente Luque survives with Michael Chiesa on his back and submits him via D'Arce Choke gfycat.com/tenderfrankfin…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/exileruz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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Kevin Lee Bites His Glove To Secure Rear-Naked Choke On Michael Chiesa, Mario Yamasaki immediately stops the fight streamable.com/r514wq
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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I've met my fair share of guys like this but where do they go when they're older? Do they all just die in car crashes, choke on their own vomit or simply despawn? They just don't seem to exist outside of clubs and bars
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AntarcticanSunSea
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Caustic Chokes On Vape (Hoxdolum) v.redd.it/s2djrqua26e81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabonemhatersyeet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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that choke at the end v.redd.it/7rhev1nszia81
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2022
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Sidney Poitier, who passed away this weekend at age 94, chokes up as he tells Lesley Stahl about the elderly Jewish waiter who taught him to read, enabling his acting career to take off v.redd.it/zumlt013cab81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AristonD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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Police officer enters house without warrant, chokes an innocent 16 year_old v.redd.it/m15xyzwe3o581
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Comfortablejack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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What is one unpopular opinion you have about hip hop that will have you in a choke hold?

I’ll start. Playboi Carti is overrated and the only reason he got hype was because of copy and paste teenagers on tiktok. All his songs sound the same and the ludicrous noises he makes is just funny and defo not music. Some songs are hits but I wouldn’t say they’re classics and his concerts are fire but overall he doesn’t deserve the clout he has today

Edit: I meant rap/hip hop music in the original question of this post .

Edit 2: omd Carti fans can’t take an opinion that is different to theirs. They already added me onto another community . Imagine being mad over a Reddit post πŸ’€

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Why is Gladion holding his hand like that? Is he trying to choke someone?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maiyamay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edvards55
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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Critical Choke Theory
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuerrillaTradio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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[POST-GAME THREAD] Hawks choke a close game vs the Heat. 118 - 124

A very tough loss. The team botched several possessions in the 4th quite badly, but I did see more effort overall. The bench unit looked super good - I wonder how much that has to do with Cam being traded (and to a lesser extent, Lou being benched)

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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this has to undeniably be my most embarrassing successful choke to daTe v.redd.it/jdbso7thzya81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Incited_and_Bluee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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Cloke ❌ Chokeβœ…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleepy_GhostBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Crazy Leg Choke Comeback! (Ends With Respect!) v.redd.it/3mz4hfzfnq481
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zluezo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2021
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Baton Rouge Police Officer Chokes A Thirteen-Year-Old Boy That Was Playing BasketBall In A Case Of Mistaken Identity While Ignoring The Desperate Pleas From His Family v.redd.it/7hzy7np6fp381
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DayangMarikit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2021
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[Thirty] Matt Gay chokes up on a Zoom with reporters as he begins talking about how his wife was the first person he told he made the Pro Bowl. "She's the one who sacrifices a lot," Gay says. "She's back in Utah with the kids right now... just thankful to have her in my life." mobile.twitter.com/Lindse…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meandeane651
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2021
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Who else was expecting the maps to look like they did in Exodus with flooded streets, dynamic cover, ambient lighting and infantry focused choke points. Instead we got soulless open maps with zero cover and lighting that makes everything look plastic. reddit.com/gallery/s5twoi
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whomstd-ve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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POV: ur a silver player walking through a choke
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rungdisplacement
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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I'm so sorry to bother anyone in this sub but this is my pug she's 15 she's paralyzed from the waist down and she's been getting weaker and colder by the day please pray for her she's the only thing I have left to hold onto.. I'm trying to choke back tears..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebeardedgods
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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She's gonna choke at any moment
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tendencyofbattle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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Alarming escalation as Frisco's Christian Extremist pastor Brandon Burden attempts to take over the Denton County GOP meeting Thursday, from the current chairwoman and then Sunday from the pulpit describes wanting to 'choke her' and how his friend could 'have just done one blow to (her) face'

Extremist pastor Brandon Burden has been inappropriately involved in politics for some time. However lately he has been escalating his activities and the community should raise the alarm. Some links.

In a prior election, Frisco pastor's goons were intimidating people at the polls:

Brandon Burden blocking voters from seeing soccer mom Sherrie Salas's sign alerting voters that the 'voting guide' had biased info from a PAC:

Sherrie Salas's firsthand description of the incident

"While this intimidation (at the polls) was going on Brandon Burden, the Pastor of Kingdom Life (team member of this PAC) church stood in front of my sign blocking it from the view from voters. He was there for prob 15-20 mins as I couldn’t believe it with my own heart, and yes....it made me emotional because I couldn’t believe as a Christian that was happening."

Frisco Pastor Tells Congregants to Prepare to Shoot Intruders Ahead of Biden Inauguration

After that the extremist pastor's actions were so outrageous that even his fellow conservatives kicked him out of the PAC he formed:

Frisco pastor out as chairman of conservative PAC after his comments on Trump, guns

Edit: Video link of excerpt from Burden's Sunday sermon here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobbingYouBlind
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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16 year anniversary of the Von Flue choke in the UFC. v.redd.it/3ya7keei55c81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crawlspeed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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