Chiral Anomaly Puns

Trust me, this is a lot more than 5 minutes. A LOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT more.

(Problem 1: The Timer)

So how do we get rid of the primary obstacle: The natural 5 minute timer in every game. There is no way to get rid of it.

Thousands of light-years away, there are quasars emitting highly concentrated neutron beams. Since these are so far away, the chance of them hitting Earth are pretty much zero, but there is a chance.

If one of these beams hit your phone, then it could cause what is known as a soft error. Soft errors cause small malfunctions in the transistors running your electronics. One of these soft errors could cause the one piece of code that governs the timer to malfunction and raise it up to insane levels.

According to this guy on the internet, the average electronic gets 2 soft errors a year. If you spend an hour a day every day playing clash royale, the chance of getting a soft error per day is 0.02%. (2/365/24 = 0.0002)

Those aren’t great odds, but that’s just the chance of a soft error. We need the soft error to change the timer or remove the timer. We will disregard the timer since in the scale of this video no value it could be changed to would be significant enough. Therefore, we will look at the probability of the timer being removed.

I don’t code so these are very rough guesses. I’d say that the timer altogether, including the visuals and mechanics, consist of 1000 lines of code. I might be way off but this seems reasonable.

According to this guy on the internet, big games typically have 500 thousand to 10 million lines of code. Since clash Royale is on the smaller end of these big boy games I’ll estimate it’s line count to be a million.

Assuming soft errors affect 1000 lines of code, the chances of this affecting the timer is roughly 0.1%. This is oversimplified but let’s say if the soft error hits the timer, there’s a ⅓ chance it won’t do anything, a ⅓ chance it’ll add code to the timer section, and a ⅓ chance it’ll delete code.

Out of the 1000 lines of code, 5 of them govern the 5 minute timer, so that’s a 0.5% chance.

So all in all, let’s do the math.

0.0002 * 0.001 * 0.33 * 0.005 = 0.00000000165 or 0.000000165% chance to get a soft error that removes the timer.

Which means that it’ll be an average of 606 million games before you get this. 12 games a day, that means it’ll be 50 million days before you experience this, aka 138000 years.

Obviously we can’t set things up within a human lifetime or even the entir

Things that an Engineer or Science Officer on a star ship might say.

1. We’ve got a Warp Core breach
2. Get the ion matrix modulator back online
3. The gravimetric stabilizer is loose
4. A quantum matrix relay
5. Reroute power to the forward flux capacitor
6. Reverse polarity to theta radiation
7. Demodulate the deflector emitters
8. The Tridium particles are unstable
9. A Resonance Distortion in the Inductors
10. The Plasma Manifold can’t handle the flux
11. We must calculate the iridium three-factor conductors
12. Converge the radiation filters to infra-segmentation
13. Ion-pressure has reached critical matrix
14. Re-integrate the strontium-capacitor to redux-level
15. Restart the master chronium disruptor
16. Maximum astro turbilator integrated
17. Quantum-seed charged to energetic maximum
18. Thorium-flux source has been dispatched
19. Thermal integration detected
20. Astral velocity converted
21. Detonate the Illudium Q-35 explosive space modulator
22. Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow (Dr. Who)
23. There’s a malfunction in the retro-encabulator
24. Circadian extrapolation of the interpolation theorem
25. Spatial transposition phenomena
26. Inner realm qualia
27. Tripolar amalgamation theory
28. Single equation theory of the universal containment field
29. Modular neural interface component
30. Bio-cellular granularity
31. Holodistortion dome
32. Ecolyptic nervescaping processes
33. Micro-ontological effect syndrome
34. Brainlock ameliorator device
35. Mindquake predictor array
36. Achronic sterilization dilator
37. Noctilucent telescopy
38. Thanoscopic analyzer
39. Biotech construction units
40. Temporal augmentation
41. Subneural traweling graft
42. Bioware contamination particles
43. Nanogenetic augmentation cords
44. Helical supersemetric ray-bands
45. Monitored Cryonic Mini-Kelvin Rating
46. Quadra-Capacitor Circuitry
47. Virtual locutor telepresence
48. Genotypic avatar
49. Subspeciation matrix grid
50. Neuro-linked psi-bands
51. Dillinger-drive transfield component
52. Deploying frictionless vortals now, Sir
53. Enhance the divergence coefficient
54. We need to integrate the molecular cospology
55. Reconscede the Heisenberg drive
56. Activate the Omega 13 device
57. Reconfigure the nanowave frequency shift
58. You need to calibrate your ventral defragmenter
59. Reroute the secondary vacuum node
60. We’ve got a destabilized gluon pulse
61. Did you fractionalize the redundancy emitters?
62. I’m detecting a particle trace in the thr

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

free

Because his Visa didn’t work.

A happy Uncle.....

"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "