You know why they call it a checking account?

Cause I’m always checking to see if there’s money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/storytime239
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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For my next performance I will sort out my checking account while on a high wire

It’s a balancing act

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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I checked my savings account yesterday....

It wasn't very interesting.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/virtual_no_body
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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I lost my job at the bank my very first day

A woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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When you finish eating at an Australian restaurant
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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So proud

Helping my 13 year old make his bed. It's a hot night and the ceiling fan is on.

"Don't flick the sheet too high, Dad, or else..."

Me: "Or else what?"

"or else the sheet will hit the fan"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neuromesh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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I knew you'd say that (xpost from r/TalesFromRetail)

Posted this on r/Talesfromretail and it was suggested I post here.

I used to work in store where we would ask customers if they had an account number at the check out. The number would be put in manually before putting the shopping through and the customer would get back one penny on every pound they spent.

One day a family who I hadn't seen before came in and while the mum and kids wandered off to start shopping. The dad came over to the side of my till while I was serving customers, announced his account number and then ran off to join his family without saying anything else. OK, that was weird, I went on serving.

About 10 minutes later the family are queued for my till. When it comes to the point where I should ask for their number the dad grins at me and I realise what's going on. Fortunately, I have a bizarrely good memory for numbers and, without skipping a beat, I reel off the one he gave me when he came in the store. The kids both gasp and their eyes go wide. They look at their dad in awe.

As I'm putting through the shopping, I hear the dad say:

>See? I told you they were psychic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/huskydaisy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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Why did the log go to the bank?

To check on its shavings account.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LAL99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Paraplegic dad, uninjured sense of humor...

Made an account just to share this. My dad is paraplegic--he broke his neck at a college wrestling tournament when he was 19. There's a story my mom always tells about him that just sums up how he can be so lighthearted even in the darkest of circumstances.

During his long stay at the hospital immediately after his injury, a nurse checks in on him, making sure his condition hasn't gotten any worse.

She asks, "Can you hear okay?"

He says, totally deadpan, "No, I can see fine."

Even then, lying in a hospital bed after a life-altering injury, my dad couldn't give up an opportunity to make someone laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 178
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StevenSongtime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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Groaner at work! Irene? No, Icene

Dealing with home services and customers, need to check ID. Routine ID check and I though the customer's name was Irene so I say "Ok Irene, let's get into your account here..."

Icene: "It's Icene"
Me: "Oh wow, really? double checks ID Wow! That's wicked, I've never heard that name before that's really interesting!"
pause
Me: "Well... I guess, now Icene it."

Icene groans, and my coworker and his customer start laughing, and I couldn't help but smile :D

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TEAdown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2014
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I was checking out of my hotel this morning...

I was checking out of my hotel this morning, and the receptionist was getting flustered trying to find our account.

I told her it was okay, we have all year.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalidan_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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Hotel Rewards Program

I work as a front desk associate for a major hotel chain that has a rewards program, but the guest checking in, a Mr. Zingone, didn't have it on his reservation. I tried searching for it several different ways, just the surname "Zingone," just his phone number, but ultimately could not find his account information.

So I told him, "Well, you may have had a membership, but it looks like it's... Zin-gone..."

He told me no more humor, just get me to my room. I think he was just as impressed, however.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/failbender
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
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I'm trying to get the hang of it

#1 I was at the outlet mall with my girlfriend and she wanted to check out this shoe store. I follow her in and peruse the store while she looks around. I find these sandals that are on sale, but some only have one shoe. So I pick them up and say, "Hey look, these sandals are.. half off," with the biggest grin. She did one of those one laugh oh my goodness things. #2 A day or two ago I was showing my girlfriend some pictures I took and she said to me, "You know, you've really got an eye." I told her, "I know, I have two." #3 I don't like Twitter and I never have. My gf is the opposite. So she took it upon herself to make me an account and then let me have control. I've posted a few things with my own twist. Instead of using # to tag something I write out "hashtagwhateverIwanttowritehere."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dameski
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2013
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