Checkwriter Puns

I have somebody successfully sending money to my taxable Fidelity investment margin account using the UMB Bank 101205681 routing number and the 13-digit number used on checks.

I opened a CMA (cash management account), and am thinking of using just that for writing checks, to limit the amount of money available for checkwriting.

1. Can I disable check writing from the investment account, but still receive money to that 13-digit number?
2. If I write a check on the new CMA account, but there is not enough money in that account, does the check bounce, or what?

Does this mean opening the account gives u bill pay electronically but in order to get a debit card u have to do another step with fidelity??? it says account features but that green check is only checked for bill pay and linked bank.... the debit doesn't have a check mark

Background: I recently opened a cash management account and requested checks, and now I'm waiting for the checks to arrive in the mail. A Fidelity CSR confirmed yesterday that they are in process.

I want to set up direct deposit and direct debit using this account. This info sheet (https://www.fidelity.com/bin-public/060_www_fidelity_com/documents/customer-service/authorization-for-direct-deposit.pdf) says I can get a 13-digit account number off of the checks once they arrive or I can used my 17-digit account number starting with 39900000.

Questions:

1. Are there any advantages to using one version of the account number over the other for direct deposit/debit?
2. Will my 13-digit account number end with the same few digits as my 17-digit account number (and my one-letter + 8-digit account number) so I can identify which account the checks are for?
3. Can the 13-digit account number ever change without a change in the 17-digit account number?

Thanks!

I just added checkwriting to a brokerage account that I will be using to pay for some home improvements.

I keep some of my position in a money market and some invested in an index fund.

IIRC, the checks only draw against the money market.

To protect from fraud, I want to hold very little money at one time in the money market. But what can I do with the rest? I don't want it in equities, to reduce risk. But if my account were compromised and most of it was sitting in the money market, I could stand to lose more money.

Have any of you gone through this same line of thinking? What's the solution here?

I am switching banks to get 1.8% on my checking account. With a Fidelity cash management account, you can put your savings/checking money into a government money market account currently getting 1.8% (minus ~.30% fees) and you get unlimited check writing and ATM use on all of your money, plus ATM fees are reimbursed nationwide. I called them and they told me that Fidelity will reimburse you if there is any fraud on your account. But this is not FDIC insured, its SIPC insured. But if you buy a government money market fund in this account you would get the government guarantee on the underlying investments.

Update: The thing with the Cash Mangement Account is that you need to buy the money market mutual fund manually whenever there is a credit; otherwise the money goes into a FDIC-insured fund that pays peanuts.

https://www.fidelity.com/cash-management/fidelity-cash-management-account/overview

Update 2: I thought I could put money in a money market account and get ATMs and checkwriting out of it but that is not the case. You need to put money in the vanilla low interest bearing account for ATM and access so I will be using Ally instead for 1.9% savings and low checking accounts.

Hi team,

My Cash Management account is my primary bank account. I know a place like Citi will roll a Brinks truck to me, but are there any services Fidelity provides for this purpose?

Would prefer actual cash instead of treasury checks.

I’m happy to visit a Fidelity branch if necessary as well.

Thanks!

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.